It’s going to be a pretty straightforward post, but I seriously need a second opinion, because right now I am so mad I’m second guessing myself.
I (f20, if that matters), a month ago saw an adoption post for two kittens found on the street. I always wanted a cat, and always wanted to adopt – I firmly believe that it’s a better idea than buying an animal from breeders. Now I finally have the financial means to support an animal, a stable situation regarding living conditions, and support from my family (who I still live with, since I am currently studying in university). Back to the post – I saw it while we were away in our home country due to family reasons, and wrote the woman with the kittens, that I really like one of the girls. She is very calm and tactile by the woman’s words, and has the funniest expressions – if you imagine a cat from the Middle Age paintings, that will be her.
Anyway, the woman answered that she would gladly keep her a little longer so that I can pick her up immediately after getting back home. Yesterday we finally got back – so I also immediately wrote her that hey, I’m finally ready to take my little girl home! She answered that the little one is currently with her friend (temporarily, I unfortunately do not know the word in English for it), and that I can schedule a meeting with her to meet the kitten and discuss when to pick her up. I wrote the woman who currently has the kitten, and we agreed that today I’ll visit her. That should’ve been it, right?
But, today’s morning, the woman in question wrote me that her nephew and mother don’t want to give the kitten to anyone, and that her nephew is crying since yesterday because he doesn’t want to let the little one go. After that, she offered to “find me a new cat” in the group where other people basically do the same thing – helping to find home to cats from the streets. I wrote that, no, I’m not giving up the cat, and that I could’ve met her in the middle in any other situation, but not this one. I also wrote the woman who found the cat originally, the one who’s been discussing the adoption with (a month ago!!!). She was unpleasantly surprised, and told me that she would speak with her friend immediately, since she didn’t know about this at all. The situation is not solved yet, since it’s only happened today, but I can’t help but think if I’m overreacting? I’m really, really mad, because why should I need to account for the feelings of a child, whose parents (or aunt, in this case), couldn’t explain to him what “temporary” means? I really, really love the kitten, and I don’t want to give her up just because people I don’t know have negative feelings about it. On the other hand, I’m not really known for thinking straight when I’m mad, and I guess I need the opinion from people who don’t know me, so that I can understand If im making a mistake here or not.
So, I’m I the asshole?
EDIT: I’ve seen many people say it, so I want to clear something up: I won’t “force” my way, try to kidnap the cat, etc. If the situation can’t be solved with words, I’m not going to show up on the foster’s doorstep and demand to have the kitten. But I need to mention that I’ve been in contact with the original “owner” while I was away, texting them nearly every day – and not once during that time the foster, or anyone else for that matter wanted to keep the kitten. Even yesterday the foster agreed to meet, and everything seemed well. Only today did she wrote that the nephew began to cry once she told him that other people would adopt, and that she won’t give her away. She is not the original owner, the owner in question hasn’t been aware about this.
NTA but you could turn into the asshole if you keep making a deal out of this.
You got attached to the idea of the cat, and these people are attached to the cat itself. The child has become attached to the kitten and it’s happy with it’s family.
You can adopt a kitten from literally anywhere and will love that cat unconditionally.
Move on from this and go give another needy animal a loving home.
YTA. I love cats and this cat has already found a home. There are maaaaaaaany cats who need a good home and it’s stupid to set your sights on a single one without even meeting it in person! Do not adopt *any* animal sight unseen, meet them and hang out – just because a cat is cute doesn’t mean it has a personality that will mesh with your lifestyle. Honestly you don’t sound mature enough to have a pet so maybe wait a couple of years and volunteer with a pet rescue in the meantime.
INFO: Do you see that you are having the same reaction as the young nephew, except nephew has actually met the cat?
And is an actual child versus the 20 year old “adult”. Yeah, it sucks, but seriously they’ve never even met the kitten, but this child has. There are more than enough kittens to be adopted, everywhere. And I think OP needs to do more research on general on kittens, it is widely understood that kittens so much better in pairs.
No one is a real “AH” here, but there is a lot of hurt feelings among children.
YTA you haven’t even met this cat – you don’t love it. You love the idea of it. The little boy actually knows the kitten. Leave the cat where it is and find a new one. You don’t really sound ready to adopt an animal if you care more about your feelings than the welfare of the cat who is already settled in a home.