Me and my best friend (both 22) have been friends since we were little kids. She is getting married in about a week and I can not find it in me to be happy for her.
She has been dating this guy for about 6 months, moved in with him after two, and recently he proposed. I congrarulated her but expressed my concerns from the beginning. Since she has a history of kind of rushing into things or being too passionate. But I assumed they were going to wait a bit to get married. Mostly since they have financial issues and aren’t very stable at the moment. She has a small child which isn’t currently living with her due to these difficulties.
She recently asked for money for her child. I gave it to her. And she later told me she did have money, but couldn’t use it since it was for the wedding. I told her she could have said when she asked for it, since for me she coukd have used the money for her child and move the wedding But she said she didn’t see anything wrong in what she did.
I do not live in the same country as her but I visit when I can. I will visit in January. I asked her if she could wait to get married until January since they aren’t reserving a venue or anything and just kind of eloping to a courthouse. I wanted to be there for here like we always said we would be for each other. Plus she woukd have more time to save money for he wedding. But she insisted it must be December since people wouldn’t have the money to gift them stuff in January after the holidays. Which I guess is valid but still hurts. I again tried to tell her to maybe slow down a bit. She told me I just see things differently because I "need things to be perfect". She then said this is the reason I still haven’t gotten married (my boyfriend asked me to marry him but we are waiting until I finish college). This made me really hurt.
Ever since that day I kind of just continued on. She keeps showing me pictures of her dress and shoes and asks me why can’t I be happy for her. And I don’t know if maybe I am too set in my ways to see that I really am in the wrong and being enttitled or sm. AITA?
NAH. I understand your concern, but she is an adult and capable of making her own decisions – and her own mistakes. You are a bit judgemental. For example, describing a courthouse wedding as eloping. Playing it down just because she isn’t doing a big fancy wedding. Seems to me that she does have some understanding of not wasting money, she just has poor priorities.
You shouldn’t give her money though. This is just enabling her.
Did you miss the part where the friend took money from OP under false pretenses?
No. But whether the money was for her child or her wedding, OP still shouldn’t give her money. Not if they have concerns about the way the friend lives her life.
How do you know they’re not eloping? Location has nothing to do with it.