I (28F) work at an office about 20 minutes from my apartment. I’m pretty quiet at work, stay in my lane, finish my tasks, go home. A few months ago, a new coworker, Sara,(31F) started, and we got along fine nothing deep, just normal work friendliness. One day it was raining really hard, and as I was packing up to leave, she asked if I could drop her off at a bus stop a few minutes away. It was on my route, so I said sure. No big deal. The next day, she comes up to my desk at 4:55 PM with her bag and goes, Ready to go? I was confused and said, Oh, sorry I’m staying late today. She gave me a weird look but said ok and left. From that day on, she started acting like I was her personal ride. She’d wait by the door at the end of the day. She’d text me, “Leaving now?” even though I never told her I’d drive her regularly. When I didn’t offer, she’d get a little cold with me the next morning. Last Thursday, she messaged me at 4:40 saying, Can you take me to the mall after work? The mall is 25 minutes in the opposite direction of my home. I told her, Sorry, that’s too far out of my way. She replied, “Wow. Okay.” The next day she barely spoke to me and acted like I’d betrayed her. Another coworker even asked me what happened, because apparently Sara told people I promised to help her out and then backed out.
I’ve never promised her anything. I gave her one ride during a storm and was just trying to be nice. I don’t mind helping occasionally, but I don’t want it to be assumed or expected especially when it’s inconvenient and she never offers gas money or anything.
My sister says I was too nice in the beginning and that people like that will always push boundaries. Another friend says maybe I should’ve just driven her to avoid drama. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but the tension at work is awkward now. AITA for telling my coworker I couldn’t keep giving her rides?
This will sound like an overreaction, but I promise you it’s not. Tell your manager what’s happening and that you’re considering going to HR because she’s starting to tell people a false account of what happened and you don’t want a hostile workplace. Now, hopefully your immediate manager will handle the situation themselves, but if they don’t then you’ve taken the appropriate steps before actually going to HR. And then if she escalates her behavior after reporting to your manager then all the more reason to take it to HR. It seems small now, but if you allow her to build a false narrative about you now then she’s going to continue to do it in the future so it needs to be nipped in the bud before it’s allowed to get to that point. It’s not a small matter when people start attacking your character at work directly to your coworkers.
Immediate edit: Definitely NTA. She was definitely trying to force you into being her ride by trying to make you feel embarrassed about the whole thing.
Came to say this. Protect yourself and your job. Do not hesitate to talk to you manager or HR.
Email your manager with HR CC’d. Both need to have the complaint documented before this coworker causes a real problem