I have 6 roommates and some are great about cleaning up. Some are very very busy and cannot seem to complete the chores that are are assigned on time. This means that I often have to do small tasks that they probably don’t even know I do, like wiping the sink edges down or cleaning windows. I feel bad sometimes because they are so busy, but I get really irritated when I ask nicely for them to do their chores and they simply cannot. I am as busy as them, but I know it is harder when they weren’t raised to clean up after themselves. I get pissed sometimes and send pictures to our groupchat about dishes in the sink, toothpaste spit on the mirror, etc., but sometimes I feel bad about doing it afterwards.
YTA, I think your standards of cleanliness are a bit too high to be living with 6 people. Not too high in general but definitely too high for the amount of people you live with.
NTA – you’re not anyone’s parent or maid. They need to make the time
It’s ESA because they need to do their part but unless OP clarifies what other strategies they have used besides nagging im inclined to find their approach lacking in direct and productive communication and is a bandaid that builds tension doesn’t release it. The people that get the break from cleaning from themselves still get to feel annoyed but instead of being annoyed by being accountable to actually clean their are annoyed by nagging.
Make a few basic agreements as a group don’t complain after, be proactive then point to the agreements rather than nagging. People CNA be mad at the chore wheel or agreements rather than (warranted) attitude from the default maid.
Cohabitating isn’t easy I have a dear dear friend who I just can’t live with cause our priorities for cleaning aren’t the same. We are much better not living together.
YTA.
This situation is the foundation of r/BadRoommates.
Here is the deal. You and your roommates are equals in the residence. You have your cleanliness standards and they have theirs. You don’t get to impose your standards on them. Also stop with the pictures in a group chat. We are adults who communicate with words that come out of our mouths, not passive aggressive group texts.
Exactly communicate about a system that compromises needs capacities priorities set your deal breaker priorities, find something to do to cope with what you must compromise on and carry on. Nagging usually produces the opposite outcome one desires. Try to humanize and see other people’s priorities and find middle ground rather than building resentment and not really addressing the tension.
Chore wheels exist for a reason maybe it needs to be streamlined maybe there needs to be a monthly soda or wine and pizza or delivery and cleaning party together. Cleaning up after others doesn’t fix the ongoing problem neither does nagging.
Get creative reset the strategy. Get special wipes for the kitchen sink and keep them handy. I believe in you. Update us.
Ridiculous. The standards are agreed upon already. Not being a slob is bare bones. Yes standards are imposed. If they dont like it they should not have e agreed and moved in. They dont get to i lose their laziness and filty lack of standards on others. They agreed to their share of chores and arent holding up their end. A decent job is expected.
It sounds like you have some OCD issues.
Living with 6 roommates and you are stressing over “cleaning windows?”
You need to back off and resign yourself to the place being generally “good enough” and not to your obsessive cleanliness standards.
This exactly. Sink edges? In household with this many people?
Bruh. YTA. You seem like your standards are WAY high. Sometimes theres dishes in the sink, as long as isnt a regular occurrence its not a big deal. I bet your roommates are posting on bad roommates about you.
YTA. Stop doing this, stop sending pictures, stop thinking about it.
If your cleaning schedule has things like “wipe the sink edges down” you have more important things to worry about. This is not a standard that can be kept in a 7 person home.
When you have your own home you can wipe down the baseboards weekly to your heart’s content. In the meantime, you’re the one being a bad roommate.
Yeah I can see how the seven person setup changes what is realistic to expect and that seems like the real point here.
YTA, you created a chore chart, did anyone else have input or did you just assign tasks?
The dig about people not being taught to clean up after themselves is rude too. It’s giving “I was raised so much better so everyone’s standards should be as high as mine”.
Do your bit, let others do theirs. If you choose to do extra tasks that is your choice. Personally it sounds like you’re not ready to live in shared housing.
I agree your standards may be too high to be rooming with this many people. Toothpaste on the mirror is gross and only takes a second to wipe off same with the crumbs on the counter especially if your place is prone to ants or mice or other bugs that is frustrating but dishes in the sink it happens how long do they sit? Do you actually leave things alone and see if people will clean their mess in their own time? Like if you don’t wash the dishes in there will they get to it by that evening or the next day or do they sit there for a week and everyone says it wasn’t them like children. Not being clean and not being clean on YOUR schedule is not the same thing. As a family 5 though I get the annoyance factor of not everyone doing their part it adds up fast. It’s not your responsibility though just do your part and if you do clean up after someone do it for yourself and stop thinking about how they should have done it. But also sending the pics in the group chat is definition passive aggressive maybe let one of the other roommates that want a cleaner space take over addressing any issues and you focus on letting small annoyances go for your own sanity.