So I’m doing a startup right now. My CEO is about my age and has made this environment very difficult to be in sometimes. Always finding any reason to point out flaws in us, cofounders/employees, but quick to hide any successes.
The only way I can get him to be open to an idea of mine is when no one else is around, otherwise it always turns into an argument. I typically have spent days and many hours personally thinking of a way to make something, just for him to say the idea is complete shit and his is better (when it’s not), we’ve even had outside sources like mentors who have been through it, confirm that his idea will generally not work. He only is confrontational when there’s other employees around, I feel like it’s because he wants to be the one who sounds like the smart engineer dude.
Anyways fast forward, we get ready for a small cohort, my friend and I were busting our asses almost every day but since we failed to meet a couple of deadlines he’s pulling out the quote “you gotta use the right tool for the right task” and is now planning on moving my friend into a different spot in the company with a lot of negativity sprinkled in. It’s like if an innocent butterfly flew past a monkey that had his nuts cut off, he just goes into it for no reason supposedly. There is really no warning of it coming until it’s too late.
Anyways he told me over a call his perspective of my best friend in the company, and how he wants to move him around to do other things because he doesn’t like his performance so far. I told him this convo would never leave us, but I still told my friend “be prepared to defend the work you’ve done next time yall meet” that’s it. But he’s pissed I even said that to him. He said “a mans word is everything in this world”. I sort of feel like an asshole, but given all of the drama and phone calls of him screaming at me because I made a system that he wasn’t familiar with, I lost a good deal of respect for him.
Edit: he took half my equity away from me because I made on mistake.
NTA. This wasn’t a promise between equals. It was made under pressure, an imbalance of power, and emotional manipulation.
He didn’t come to you vulnerably. He didn’t share a personal secret. He wasn’t asking you to protect something sacred.
He was asking you to help him set up your friend for a blindsiding. He wanted to keep you silent so he could go after someone without warning. His anger is just him losing control of his preferred tactic: surprise public humiliation.
He’s the baddie. You’re NTA.
Edit: Oh and if doesn’t go without saying — GET OUT. When I was a kid my dad started a company with a guy who turned out to be really unbalanced. This is giving me flashbacks to memories of overheard phone conversation with his insane business partner. Get out, get out, get out!
Well he told me after I said that I’d not tell my friend anything, that the call was a test for me. Thank you for helping me feel at least more validated
A test? YIKES.
Your CEO is a bad dude. Loyalty tests are a common tactic of narcissists.
Regardless if this guy’s narcissism rises to the level of a personality disorder diagnosis, he is showing very worrying traits. Start looking for other employment opportunities. Save yourself years of misery working for this guy. It won’t get better. Cut your losses!
And I’m glad I could make you feel more validated. You’re the normal one here — he’s the asshole.
You need to leave this situation (hard to even call it a company) and find a place where there is not so much middle-school level drama.
Seriously, there’s never a moment of relaxation. Especially like right after thanksgiving
> there’s never a moment of relaxation.
Respectfully…what did you think working for a startup was like? Startups have notoriously toxic and unhealthy work environments as a general rule.