I 20 year old women and my 21 year old fiancé are soon to be married in march 2025, and I chose that I not want my dad to walk me down the aisle , for context my dad was always very abusive, verbally, and physically towards me and is also a very bad alcoholic and has also been abusive to my fiancé as well, for example one time we were all (me, my friends and my fiancé) went to my dads house to watch a game and just to all hang out, and it was a good time until my dad got so unbelievably drunk and ruined the whole night by screaming at everyone to “get the fuck out of my house” and “none of you are welcome here” and we just were walking out to deescalate the situation because it was honestly not worth the effort to argue back as we were walking out he chased me and my fiancé out and it just was pretty bad after that..since then we have not went back over there and if I did it was to see my siblings and I had just created boundaries after that and all has been well. Since planning the wedding I decided I would not like my dad to walk me down the isle (again he has done other things that’s was just one of the worst) and I have grown very close to my fiancé’s dad and chose to have him to walk me down because he has been nothing but caring and there for me and even opened his house to me and let me move in after finding out all that was going on until me and my fiancé found our own place, I spoke to other members about it and they explained to me it would be nice since me and my dad have been better to let them both walk me down the aisle together which was honestly a good plan, after that I went and had a conversation with my dad about it and his mom was there (my grandma) and he kicked me out and said they were both not attending the wedding and he said “I will not walk with another man down the aisle when you are MY daughter” since then they have gone back and forth about it and are now saying they want to attend, so I just need some clarity if I was being to dramatic since I did forgive him, but still made this decision that hurt many people..
NTA, no man is owed the right to walk his daughter down the aisle for her wedding.
It’s a privilege to be earned through love and respect.
NTA, it sounds like he wasn’t a good father to you so why should he get to reap the benefits of being one? if it were me he wouldn’t be invited at all
I wouldn’t even have him at the wedding.
He’s 100% going to get drunk and cause a scene
NTA. But also I didn’t even tell my dad about my wedding 🤷♀️.
NTA. He doesn’t deserve to even be there. Also, you don’t want him getting drunk and ruining the day.
Sorry, soon to be married in March 2025?
If youre going to skip periods all together could you add some paragraph breaks? This wall of text is awful to try and read.
That is such a pet peeve of mine.
NTA. You said he was abusive to you, why is he even still in your life? And by the sound of it, it seems like he hasn’t really changed. And top of that he hurt your fiancé. if anyone put their hands on someone I love, all contact would be ceased.
Just enjoy your wedding and have your soon to be father in law walk you down the aisle. Just because he’s biologically your father doesn’t mean that he ever actually acted like your father or earned that title. A father is loving and nurturing, he sounds far far from that. You don’t owe him anything, enjoy your day without that drama.
NTA. Your dad is going to get drunk and ruin your wedding. If I were you, I would not want him there. He’s going to get drunk and cause a scene at the reception. It will ruin your wedding. It will leave you with sad memories. It’s better that he’s not there and you feel zero guilt about it.
Your dad cannot even behave himself for one night. Do not let him ruin your wedding.
NTA. But why your man allowed your dad to accost you and treat you like shit as you were leaving blows me away.
NTA – your so called dad is abusive, why aren’t you NC. Get some counseling and don’t even invite them gm, to your wedding as you know they’ll ruin it. He will never change
NTA This might be your step into loving yourself and knowing what you deserve. I feel like you will feel disappointed in yourself if you let this person who clearly didn’t do the right by you earn any kind of position in your wedding. If you had a little girl, what would you tell her?