When I met my boyfriend at the start of this year, he had no tattoos. I’d like to make clear that I have no problem with people having tattoos, but it’s not something I want the person I’m in a relationship with to have. It’s a huge turnoff for me and I’ve made that very clear to him. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much, but it does, and there’s nothing I can do about that.
Recently he got a tattoo without informing me beforehand, and I freaked out. I loved him the way he was and I didn’t want him to change that – he didn’t need to in my eyes. And now all I can think about is that tattoo and it just puts me off to the point where I don’t know if I can look at him the same way again. So am I the asshole for reacting the way I did and feeling betrayed over it?
Yes, YTA. It’s his body and trying to tell him he can’t get a tattoo when he wants one is unnecessarily controlling. I have a few and I ran the designs by my husband, but at the end of the day he said “it’s your body, do what makes you happy.” If it’s that serious to you, don’t be with him and make him feel bad about something he chose to do for himself.
YTA. Where does this end? He can’t grow a beard? Why would you feel betrayed over something he did with his own body that has zero impact on you?
i think this is a NAH situation. He can get a tattoo, that’s his prerogative, you can break up with him, that’s yours. People are entitled to their own tastes and that’s ok.
You have ZERO control/authority over his body. If you’re this delusional, you’re not fit to be in a relationship.
YTA. “I have no problem with tattoos, but it’s not something I want the person I’m in a relationship with to have” means you do, in fact, have a problem with tattoos. He maybe should’ve mentioned that he was getting a tattoo beforehand, but he doesn’t need your permission to do whatever he wants with his body. Unless it’s in the middle of his face, I can guarantee you will forget it’s even there after a while. If you really love and care for him, this shouldn’t be a deal breaker.
Well I guess you probably can’t date him anymore. That tattoo isn’t going anywhere.
YTA. It would be the same is him trying to tell you that you shouldn’t pierce your ears or get a haircut. It’s a very controlling thing to do, and if he wants the tattoo that’s totally up to him. What would you think if roles were reversed
YTA for freaking out. If it isn’t something you like, you can politely separate yourself from the relationship. It’s been less than a year. No reason to stay if you’re unhappy.
But evaluate why something like this would alter your perception of an otherwise good partner. People’s bodies will change all the time in long term relationships, for better or for worse. People go bald, people get fat. People dye their hair or get Botox. People change fashion sense and people get moles. Hell, your future husband could lose his legs one day. If a small physical change like a tattoo can change an ENTIRE relationship, think about how you will handle the big changes in the future and do some internal work.
Betrayed? YTA. You wouldn’t be just for not liking it but getting a tattoo is not a personal betrayal.
You’re not an asshole for having a preference, but YTA for freaking out on him
YTA. It’s his body, and he has the right to decorate it as he chooses. Your reaction is also really out of proportion to the issue. It’s a picture on his skin. Why is it freaking you out this much?
YTA. His body his choice. If you don’t like it leave. But to freak out on him makes you an AH.
Unless it’s a racist/hate speech symbol, an ex’s name, or a third eye in the middle of his forehead, YTA.
If a tattoo has changed your love for him, you really didn’t love him. YTA His body, his choice.