So this person and I went out for coffee to get to know each other, it went great, shared some laughs here and there, texted for a while, would like my stories, etc and suddenly he stopped reaching out (We didn’t speak for a month).
We reconnected by me reaching out since I saw in one of his social media posts that he went to an event that I was also interested in going and from there, mentioned he wanted to ask me out to a specific place but couldn’t so he suggested to do something that I love (I spoke about how much I love to read during coffee) then grab breakfast after.
Ever since that we’ve actually been flirting which is nice but why did he stop talking to me for a month to planning a more thoughtful date….
Why the sudden shift?
Maybe he didn’t get the vibe you were interested until you reached out again?
Sometimes we don’t know what you think of us. Deciphering politeness vs genuine interest can be hard for some men.
Maybe this isn’t how it went, but the “he stopped reaching out” implies he was always the one starting each round of texting, and the one time he didn’t she didn’t either. He probably decided that told him all he needed to know about her interest level, but his enthusiastic response when she finally started a conversation indicates his was always higher.
He probably smashing someone else higher than you on the options list. Once he gets back down to you he will hit you up again 👍
I’d assume he had a higher priority option he was exploring. Ask yourself why would you do similar to a man?
“He stopped reaching out” did you text him and he simply refused to reply to any text for a month? He was talking to someone else probably but depending on the first question it was the logical choice.
Maybe he finally got his work bonus and wants to spend some. Or one of a million other possibilities.
Had a bout of depression and isolated
Tried with someone else and fail
Got sucked into work andor a video game
He had a mess he needed to clean up before he got into anything with you maybe? I would absolutely ask him before I invested any more time or thought into him.
Probably because you acted uninterested
Why he stopped:
* Busy
* Distracted
* Cold Feet / Doubt
* Had another prospect (either new or old) that fell through
Why he got back in touch:
* suddenly has free time
* reconsidered his options
* got a pep talk from a mentor
* had an ecstatic vision of you brought on by prayer, meditation, ayuhuasca, or something else
* a very real but nonetheless tangentially connected series of thoughts, events, reactions, and reactions to reactions infinitely recurring, that all led to him just deciding to put in some work into this thing
* horny
In other words: who the fuck knows, dude? Probably even *he* couldn’t really put into words the vast array of interconnected assemblage of phenomena that led to this situation.
But the most important question is: why are you asking strangers on the internet to deduce the motivations of some dude of indeterminate age, background. nationality, values, etc etc…. when you could just ask him?
The second most critical question is: “We didn’t speak for a month”? This implies that you made no attempt to speak to him either. Why did *you* stop?
This is askmenadvice, so here’s the advice: Stop overthinking shit. Go out with him. Have your coffee. Read your book. Eat breakfast. Then take him to bed for the afternoon to see how you guys get on. After that, make a call.
Did he not react to your last message for a month? Or did you also stop reaching out for a month?
Because you are not the only one that can interpret the other party not reaching out as a sign of disinterest. It goes both ways. This appears likely from your text, as you wrote he “stopped reaching out”, not “stopped answering”.
Doesn’t happen to be a man from Arizona does it?
men have options
“Stopped reaching out” how many of your attempts to contact him/start conversation did he ignore?