Hi everyone. I’m using a throwaway for privacy.
im a 23m living with my girlfriend in her family’s home, the building has three floors each having different family members the sister on one floor the cousin on the other grandpa being on the ground floor, and ive been here for less than a year when i first moved in i had a job but shortly after i was fired after getting sick for a week straight, and have been unemployed for a few months.
im actively job hunting im writing this between applications, i apply to 5 jobs a week and get either rejected or ghosted meaning no more income so im unable to contribute, i helped with a few in the beginning of my stay but unfortunately my savings has run dry.
i dont just sit around all day unless i have no chores or have finished them as all i can do is just wait, i help clean and cook for myself when she isnt home, my girlfriend is on my side of this and even she knows both sides of the sistuation but leans more to me than her family because she finds this behavior unacceptable for people who afre supposed to be more mature than this.
the frustration come from the house being under reveiw because grandpa missed a ton of mortgage payments when someone else lived in the livign room, (i dont stay in the living room but my girlfrineds room to take up less of his house space) and missed payments for YEARS before i came into the picture and im now expected to help with mortgage payments, of which i cant do without a job.
the problem is her grandfather calls me names like "lazy, fat, stupid" sometimes worse, he insults everyone to an extent due to him being 85 but mostly at me, on top of that her sister and cousin (late 30s/early 40s) say they "aren’t" harping me on getting a job but consistantly remind me about it every chance they get recently syaing that its a problem and it reminds them of the other person who lived here before me.
im reaching the breaking point, i havent snapped yet but the constant comments are discouraging me and getting me more and more stressed. If i do snap it would just be a few words- i would probably yell things i shouldnt and would most certainly get kicked out. WIBTA when i lose my temper and telll them off?
It won’t make life any easier to snap at him. That’s just the reality. 5 applications isn’t a lot. You should be sending out that many per day if you are properly editing to be tailored to the job you’re looking at. You should also be blasting way more generic applications to service and retail jobs. Like dozens per day if possible (assuming you are in a developed country).
I don’t think you’re the asshole and you don’t deserve the verbal abuse. You’re in a tough spot but the only way out of it is likely taking whatever work, no matter how “menial”, and working your way towards getting out of there.
YTA – you’re only applying to 5 jobs a week while living under someone else’s roof and on someone else’s dime? Yeah, snap at them and see how fast you’re shown the door. Your full time job rn should be looking for work. 5 applications a week is a joke. (Edit: typo)
I’m really sorry homie, you would be valid in snapping but also YWBTA. Don’t sink to their level. I know it’s hard right now but it’ll be harder if you’re kicked out. If you do anything, I’d start tracking what you do around the house and start doing more job apps because 5 per week is SUPER low in this job economy right now.
Like, super tough love here, that sounds like you’re not actually trying to find a job honestly. some people in your same position are doing dozens a day and still getting nothing right now. its not entirely on you because the job market sucks ass, but that DOES mean you should be working harder to combat it – as entirely fucking unfair as that might be. and when and come prepared next time there’s a shitstorm from grandpa. Fight with facts, not immaturity ❤️
YTA, you are living in someone else’s house rent free. If you are so unhappy, move back in with your own family.
Maybe you should move out and go live with your family. Although I’m sure if you do snap on him you’ll be kicked out regardless, and you’re not contributing anything valuable anyway.
They shouldn’t treat you like that but can you afford to get kicked out? Maybe do more around the house or do volunteer work somewhere, which could lead to a job.
Or maybe apply for more stuff, even if it’s minimum wage. It’s been awhile since I looked for a job, but 5 applications a week doesn’t sound like much, that’s 1 a day and none on weekends. People work full time and still do that much job searching when they want a new job.
YWBTA. I’m sorry but you’re currently still on the losing side for you’re still in their household my suggestion is just endure it till you get your own
YWBTA – you need to get a temporary job while you also work on applications. Grocery stores, the mall, etc. You can also contact recruiting agencies, work for a temp agency, etc. It might feel like you’re doing enough, but you need to contribute to the household you are living in.
eah well applying to 5 jobs a week implies that you are in fact lazy. He also called you fat so theres probably truth to that too. This post proves youre very clearly stupid as to even have to ask this question. Bottom line is you shouldnt even be at the house at all. Everyday, 8-12hours a day you should be looking for work or applying to jobs online or doing odd jobs around your area to make some form of income.
Wait all you can do is wait, you sit around if you have no chores???? You’re not a child, you’re a grown man. Get off your ass and go find a job. Get out of that house go to the library and make it your job to send at least 5 applications a day if not 10. Walk around stores and ask if they’re hiring. Go to temp agencies, the library sometimes can point you to job fairs or work agencies go to skill fairs. You should not be sitting jobless around the house especially when you’re not contributing.
>actively job hunting
>I apply to 5 jobs a week
You should get part time job and apply for 5 roles per day. You do sound lazy.
Really, you e been out of work for several months? If I were her family I’d be annoyed with you too. They a supporting your unemployed ass. Take the first thing you can find and keep looking for something better. Or go mooch off your own family.
What is stopping you from working a basic retail or food service job until you can achieve something better? 5 jobs a week is an attempt, but is not an intensive job search.