So my girlfriend did that prank on me where she said pretty mean stuff to her best friend in front of me to see how i’d react (her friend was in on it). She just said stuff about her appearance like "your ears are kinda big" to which i responded "they’re not though" and then she finally said something like "i can’t imagine someone being in love with you".
I was obviously pretty shocked my gf was acting like that because she’s usually even nicer to her best friend than me tbh. I would say me and her best friend are pretty close and would consider her a friend. So i just said "i can actually" because at that point the girl looked like she was going to cry. My girlfriend didn’t initially seem annoyed at me for saying that and they told me it was a joke everything was fine
Later that day she brought up what i said before. She asked me if i could see myself falling in love with her best friend if i didn’t know her (my gf). I said that’s silly and i can’t imagine being with anyone but her. She asked me if "but do you find her attractive?". I said no but she’s not ugly. She said "you can just say no without adding anything" and then we just kept going round in circles about it.
Her actual issue was that i seemed to be too defensive of her friend. Am i the asshole for saying too much even though she would probably be annoyed either way considering it was basically a test to see how i’d react to her being disrespectful for no reason?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. NTA. Personally I don’t date women who play games like that. It’s a deal breaker red flag for me.
Your gf is extremely childish. Maybe you two are literal children lol (you didn’t list ages), but still, doesn’t mean you have to act like that. Getting into a relationship doesn’t magically remove one’s ability to find others attractive. And that’s a super delusional expectation for one’s partner.
You got cornered with some toxic bs and reflexively defended the attacked party. That was the right and good thing to do. It’s not your fault you didn’t have time to wordsmith it to avoid potentially giving your gf the wrong idea. That’s 100% ON HER.
Exactly.
Bullshit tests are toxic and are self-evidently more likely to harm a relationship than to deepen the connection.
The *whole point* is to see if you can find something “funny” that can either get your own knickers in a twist or maintain the status quo but with a fun, cringey new memory.
Beware those who prioritize nonsense over their relationships.
NTA.
I hate tests. If this was a test and not her just her being mean and trying to salvage it. Heck it could be a twofer; an excuse to be mean to her friend and test you. Double flag on the play!
I’m not going to do the reddit thing of “break up naow!” but… I’d be taking a long look at the relationship based on how long you’ve been together and giving it a good think.
NTA, but unless you’re 14, this isn’t the relationship for you.
Be that guy who is kind to people and supports them through what is frankly an excuse to be mean to someone in the guise of a test for you.
Her friend probably thought she was doing her a favour and has now heard some things a friend wouldn’t say, even as a joke.
NTA – She put you in this situation on purpose, and now she’s mad you don’t put up with people bullying your friend?? If anything, I would’ve said you passed whatever test they were doing – you’re clearly an empathetic and caring person. I don’t see what’s wrong with that
NTA. Your girlfriend is playing stupid games and winning prizes accordingly. She’s playing games with your personal integrity. Frankly, you should be angry as hell with her, not going in circles in a no-win situation she created.
NTA but honestly exactly what was the point of this “test”? Was it to see if you’d support your girlfriend no matter what even if she’s acting like a complete AH? Or was it to see if you’d stand up for what’s right when your girlfriend is acting out of line? I honestly fail to see what the “proper” response would be…she put you in a no-win situation which a complete AH thing to do, especially to someone you supposedly care about.
I guess she just thought it would be funny to observe my face while she said all those things. I think she just expected me to kinda be caught off guard or laugh?
This is high school mentality.
She’s not mature enough for a relationship, and her stupid little games/jokes are going to get tired real quick.
Cut your losses and save yourself the time/effort.
NTA, but please dump this witch. You don’t need to be playing these kinds of dumb games for the rest of your life. She’s a nightmare. Find someone else.
NTA, your girlfriend is weird for pitting herself against her friend in a pretend match with you as the judge. You should want your boyfriend to like your friends. She’s showing her insecure side and it isn’t cute.
NTA Really all this shows is you are a better person than your GF (unless, of course your GF is 13—which she is acting like)
NTA. Is your girlfriend a teenager?
Please, please, say you’re all 16 years old.