I (23f) am hosting a pilates class to raise funds for charity. I was talking to a close friend, let’s call her G, about it in hopes to invite her and just generally because i was excited about it. The first thing G said after I told her about the event was to send her the stats of my sales when this is over because she doubts I’ll sell any tickets at the price I set. I was a bit taken aback by this but I eventually let it go.
About a week later I was with G and another friend and took the opportunity to invite the other friend to the pilates class. Before I could finish the invite, G cut me off and said “yeah if you want to spend a bunch of money for an event at a terrible time.” Mind you, my class is on a Saturday afternoon. Anyway, she doubled down and continued to talk badly about the event.
A few days ago a excitedly told G all the tickets sold out the first day they went on sale and she responded by saying “there were only 12 spots so it’s not that hard.” Again, I thought this was pretty rude and it made me not want to talk to her anymore honestly.
If the roles were reversed, I would never say something like that, and I would be the first to buy a ticket to a friends event to support them.
This is far from the only time she’s been abrupt, rude and dismissive. She does things like this pretty often, and this situation was the straw that broke the camels back. I was talking to my brother about it and he said it’s just a cultural difference as her country is known for being brutally honest and straightforward, and that I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
AITAH for being angry that my friend isn’t being supportive of my fundraiser?
NTA but this person isn’t your friend
With friends like these, who needs haters…
NTA. Your friend is being a hater, rude and incredibly disrespectful towards something you’re clearly passionate about. Good on you for raising money for charity! She should be celebrating you and encouraging you, not dragging you down! It doesn’t sound like she’s really your friend at all. Could be jealousy, could be insecurity, who knows? Either way, you shouldn’t be put down like this by someone you yourself referred to as a “close friend”.
I have a friend who is from a culture known for being brutally honest but she would never speak to me like this. Yes she is honest, but she is never cruel, and that’s what you’re friend is being. Ignore your brother, this is not a culture issue, this is a personality issue. She is CHOOSING to be mean to you.
Personally, I wouldn’t want a friend like this in my life.
NTA
INFO: When you say “she does things like this pretty often,” do you mean speak rudely, or turn down requests for money?
NTA feels like a frenemy. Big mean girl energy. At first i thought she was just being sassy because she hates exercise or something, but it sounds like it’s YOU she hates lol .
I feel like a conversation of some degree can separate between her culture and her personal feelings about you as a friend. I’m leaning towards the latter.
That girl’s not your friend. NTA
NTA. Stop calling her your friend. And call her out “wow, that’s so rude”, “how unnecessary to say it”.
I bet if you treated her the same way she treats you, even once, she would lose her mind.
I was tempted to call her out but my brother told me not to add to it because it would make things worse. maybe shouldn’t listen to him haha
Your brother is not the one being put down. He can deal his own way if it comes to that
she’s not your friend. what has she ever done for you?
She’s not brutally honest and straightforward, she’s rude and no friend.
Telling you that she doesn’t enjoy that activity is straightforward; in her place I would say that I don’t want to take up a space in the event that I won’t attend but I would be happy to make a donation to the charity.
Discouraging the other friend is beyond rude. It’s actively hostile. She’s not your friend, make space in your life for someone who will encourage and support you.
I’m brutally honest and straightforward. There is a difference between that and just being an asshole. This isn’t a cultural thing. This is them being a hater. Stop being friends with this person.
NTA
There is a difference between being brutally honest and straightforward and outright rude and dismissive. This does not sound like a friend.
NTA but be conscious of hitting your friends up for money, even for fundraisers. Done too often, people will start feeling a bit MLMy.
honestly I didn’t mention it so she would donate. yes i would’ve been happy if she did but i was just sharing what was going on in my life. also this is kind of a one time thing