I (20F) am in between jobs at the moment. For a while, I was watching my sister’s(29F) youngest son(<5).
A few months ago she got a new job, so we agreed I’d watch her youngest until she got off of work, while her older children were at school. Okay, totally fine.
Then she got fired, okay, I wasn’t watching her son anymore. Then she got a new job, and we made the same agreement on time/pay. She started the new job but her hours ended up wonky, she called out more days than she went in, she was sent home other days. But I still watched her kid, in total for around 35 hours over a month and a half.
Her first paycheck she owed me around $100, she said she couldn’t pay because of her messed up hours. Okay. I told her I’d need it on her next paycheck so I could pay a bill of mine. She agreed.
Her next paycheck comes she tells me her company put it in the wrong account or something so she can’t pay me. At that time she owed me around $300. I told her then that I wouldn’t watch her kid anymore until she paid me, she was never home on time, a few of my appointments got screwed up because I had planned on being free but I was still watching her kid, etc.
Now I mentioned this to my mom, because she asked, and my mom was pissed to say the least. Saying how “she’d never imagine charging her sister to watch her kids.” And, “we’re family, that’s your sister, how can you make her pay you when she needs help.” Etc.
I told my mom that I have things to handle and bills to pay since I’m inbetween jobs, my sister and I agreed on it, now she’s going back on it. It’s been months and my sister hasn’t paid me, so I’ve refused to watch her children.
My mother keeps bringing up how we’re family and it makes me feel bad but I was counting on that money to pay for things I need.
AITA for refusing to watch her kids until she pays me?
TLDR; agreement to watch sisters son, sister hasn’t paid me in months, mom argues with me saying she shouldn’t have to pay me, I won’t watch sister’s son until she does.
ETA: my mother has two jobs, she is unable to watch my sister’s children. I also do not live with them, i live about 10-15 minutes away. I’m out of a car at the moment since mine broke down awhile ago and my boyfriend has been driving me or letting me use his car when able, which i appreciate.
ETA 2: I don’t have a job at the moment as I’m in classes working towards the career I want. I only have like 2 bills I have to pay monthly which I’m normally able to pay on my own. It was just supposed to be a win-win situation
NTA, and no offense but your mom should step up to babysit if she’s so upset about it imo
I said that but my mom works two jobs herself in her 50s so when she’s home she sleeps and cleans really
That’s fair. Kind of an info dump, but my mom did something similar with me and my older sister and it really affected my relationships with both of them for a while. My mom’s excuse was always, “she’s a young mom, you’re a teenager, you don’t need money, blah blah etc.” It made me feel like I had less value than my sister, if that makes sense. Plus, it taught my sister that I didn’t need to be respected, along with holding my nephew against me and other stuff. So what I think is that you deserve to be paid for your services, especially if that’s what you and sis agreed on, AND you deserve to be respected, no matter your “rank” in the family, for lack of a better term. I hope I’m not projecting too much lol and I do hope things get better soon.
No I get it totally, my sisters big thing is “really you can’t sit with him for 10 minutes while I go to (wherever) it’s your nephew” no. No I cannot.
NTA And your sister may be lying about something to do with her job.
Your mom is free to watch him for free.
I figured as much because apparently she borrowed some money from some relatives and lied about what it was for and then I found out through said relatives that she got fired from her most recent job. She said that she’d have her friend watch her son since I won’t once she gets a new job
NTA. The time you spend watching this kid is time that you now cannot spend working for pay. It would be a more just world if your sister didn’t have to pay for childcare–but we don’t have that support system in place, and you cannot afford to provide that childcare at the moment unless you are paid.
NTA. A deal is a deal and she needs to uphold her end of the bargain.
NTA since your mom feels some kind of way about it how about she watch your sister’s kid? Your sister agreed to pay you and that’s the deal you have with her. It doesn’t matter that she’s family, you’re not required to watch her kid. If you wanted to watch a kid for free, you would have your own.
NTA. Your mom is family, too. She can watch your sister’s kid for free.
NTA but your sister and mom are.
***”My mother keeps bringing up how we’re family”***
\—Sis will be delighted to hear that you are volunteering Mom because you’re family.
Nta. Maybe I’ve been here too long, but I suspect your sister never intended to pay you, after she saw the first check and realized with her weird hrs, she was simply never gonna have enough to pay you and cover her household. I feel like if she had just been honest about that, maybe you would have been more willing to help. Now she’s stuck with no childcare and you still can’t pay your bills. Everyone lost.
NTA, but your mom and sister are.
The next time your mom mentions the “we’re family” crap, say this to her, “Since you’re family too, you can watch your grandson for free!” And I get the funny feeling your sister is lying about something with her job.