Obviously y’all can’t answer the exact reason, nobody knows. But generally speaking, I just never get hit on at bars or shows/concerts. The only places I get approached is usually the grocery store, target, book store or gym. I’ll have random guys at red lights roll down their windows and flirt with me.
The one place I would expect it to happen, it just doesn’t happen. I don’t really consider my self unattractive, not everyone’s cup of tea, but obviously some. Maybe just not bar guys? They will hit on my friends but I’m often ignored. I am a bit quiet and awkward? Could that be why? I guess bars aren’t exactly my element.
I don’t think it’s something I’d like to change really, but more so a curiosity in my brain. I don’t understand the behavior, but maybe I’m not meant to understand it.
:’)
The obvious answer is Resting Bitch Face. It’s possible that the atmosphere of the bar puts your face in an unapproachable configuration, while your normal life takes your face out of that.
Alternately it’s possible that you’re doing yourself up too much when you’re looking and the amount of makeup is a turnoff.
That’s the two things that come first to mind for me.
I don’t change my style all that much. I keep the makeup the same. The only time I actually recall a guy approaching me at a bar with friends, he kinda sat with me one on one and pulled the “you look too innocent for this place” which I thought was weird and made me want to leave.
I’m better at pubs and with older people. Kind of invisible to guys my age, which is 27.
You mention they are hitting on your friends so probably a case of traveling in a large pack when you go out? If you are guys will often only hit on the ones who seem most outgoing and approachable.
Try going with a smaller group and sending some signals to guys you are interested in – eye contact, smiling at them, etc
++man a couple of things come to mind.
‘OmG yEr So CrEePy HoW dArE yOu ApPrOaCh Me!’
‘YoU hAvE lItTlE dIcK energy’
‘PaY fOr My NaIlS aNd My GaS’
Women today aren’t worth approaching. Men have seen what happens and are tired of being ridiculed by tramps that only see us for a meal ticket.
Perhaps thats why?
> I don’t really consider my self unattractive, not everyone’s cup of tea, but obviously some. Maybe just not bar guys? They will hit on my friends but I’m often ignored.
We need a group photo. For science.
Maybe it’s just me but I know that bars, shows or concerts tend to be a meat shop. Everyone knows that and nowadays, with social media, girls are such venues goes for the top top top top guys. Along with in the gym. So smart guys don’t play at such venues anymore where they know chances of getting rejected are extremely high.
I can barely hear myself in bars, let alone concerts. Loud environments aren’t conducive to conversation.
80% is physical attractiveness, 10% is looking “open for business” (smiling when looked at, making small talk conversations), and 10% is giving guys a chance that you ordinarily would not have.
Do this move next time you find a guy you are interested in.
Step 1. Look at him
Step 2. Keep looking at him until he looks back at you. (NOTE: This part should be easy to figure out since you are already looking at him… if not, got back to step 1)
Step 3. Raise eyebrows. You can also slightly tip your glass if you are feeling extra wild that night.
60% of the time, this work all the time. Try it and report back.
It’s a glass half empty/full situation. If you’re getting hit on at the grocery and Target you need to channel your inner shopper and roll with it.
I realize you’re asking for some rational explanation, for said occurrence, but there likely is none. I, myself, am not a bar person. There is something about them that makes me anxious. I don’t know why. Maybe I just don’t like to drink that much.
As the song says “accentuate the positive.” If you’re giving out your deets in Targét, you’re doing something right.
Read several of the other responses, and I’ll just give my $0.02:
Typically when a guy approaches someone at a bar, it’s one of a couple of reasons:
1. Liquid courage makes them lose their inhibition and they are going to shoot their shot. These guys are likely going to find the “hottest” person they see.
2. There was already eye contact and some other type of visual cue to make them believe there was some type of interest.
From your other responses, you have said that the friends you go out with fall more into the category that would get hit on by group 1. Incidentally, these are also *extremely* likely to be the guys you are **not** looking for.
In that case, you are looking for group 2. So… are you making eye contact with other guys? Do you smile when you do? Almost no one in group 2 will cold approach someone unless they receive some type of visual cue that you want them to.
About half of men ages 18-25 have never asked out a woman in their life.
So, less men just approach women overall.
And I certainly wouldn’t approach any woman in any public setting, ever.
Lots of women have said over the last decade and longer to not approach them, especially when they‘re put and just trying to have fun. It’s either creepy at worst or bothersome at best.
You are more likely to be approached in places where the guy has a reason or excuse to talk. You are less likely to be approached if the only reason he could possibly be talking to you is if he saw how you looked and just walked up.
So if you are at a bar…. Stay at the bar… A guy might walk up and order a drink… Then talk to you with the excuse that he is waiting for his drink.
If you are off sitting at a table… He would have to walk up with the obvious statement that he just saw someone attractive and didn’t need any other reason to try for it.