Hi all. So as the title says. It seems like more often than not, my girlfriend is continuously getting upset/annoyed with some of my quirks, but yet I’m tolerant of hers, especially when they can potentially be annoying, because I know they make her happy. If I do tell her to stop, she gets (jokingly?) upset. Not sure if this is healthy to be honest. She gets overstimulated very quickly among many things, but sometimes it seems only when she doesn’t have control over it. For example, if we’re driving in her car, I’m tolerant of her music and her blasting it as loud as she wants. But if we’re in my car and I do the exact same thing, she hates the music and wants me to turn it down to where I can barely hear it.
TLDR; not sure if my girlfriend’s intolerance to my quirks/behavior is healthy while I’m more tolerant and accepting of hers
Common but not okay
She has a double standard.
How will this feel in 5yrs?
This is common, but it’s not healthy. She will strip away your personality piece by piece if you don’t get her to stop this or leave. The old saw is women marry men hoping to make them change. Men marry women hoping they never will.
She doesn’t strongly desire / like you that much
Its funny because she was STRONGLY attracted to me in the beginning. I must’ve done something to really turn her off. She also has been on antidepressants and adderall lately. Wonder if that had anything to do with it.
Can’t speak on antidepressants, haven’t taken them.
But Adderall crashes definitely made me more irritable. The second half of the day was marked by low levels of motivation and irritability.
lol welcome to dealing with women. It’s like this no matter how old you get. It’s usually all about them and their feelings
it sounds even to me that this relationship won’t last and would break down sooner or later.
A good relationship has mutual respect, and this sounds very one-sided.
Some people are hard-wired to be very sensitive, but the onus is still on them to manage their reactions.
I wouldn’t even stay friends with someone that acted like this.
She is failing the gf test.
What other quirks are we talking about here?
Music taste I can understand. I dated a girl who only ever listened to one singer. It drove me crazy.
Some behaviors are more tolerable than others. Like in your example, are you playing death metal and she’s playing classic rock? To me, one is more tolerable than the other, but I’m sure that other people would have the exact opposite opinion of mine.
People are just different. They tolerate what they can tolerate. If you find that you are very incompatible, then you are very incompatible. There’s really not much else to say about that.
Quirks become more or less annoying the more or less you like a person.