For some context I live in London with 2 house mates, the 3 of us are pretty good friends and lived together before in different places. One of these housemates let’s call him Jon can be a little untidy not clearing up after himself etc, while can be a little OCD and don’t like mess. I am unemployed and Jon works full time, because of that I generally don’t mind clearing up in the kitchen after him, washing dishes and stuff cos otherwise it just doesn’t get done for ages. A little annoying but I don’t mind.
So on Sunday evening I come home after being out for the weekend and see that Jon’s brought a Christmas tree, got my Xmas decorations out of the cupboard and hung like 5 baubles and left the rest of the stuff over the sofa and in front of the TV. He’s also moved an arm chair to make space for the tree and left it in front of our balcony door. Too tired to deal with it I go to bed early and leave it for Monday.
So when I get up I move some furniture to make space for the chair, put the stuff in the bag and pop it in his bedroom. I come home that night after visiting a friend and see that hes moved the decorations back in front of the TV and sofa, and gone to bed. Slightly annoyed I move back in his room, quietly so I don’t wake him up or disturb his sleep. Few hours later that night he wakes up brings it back and empties a big box of glittery baubles over the sofa. Now I’m pissed off, I pick it all up and go and empty it over his bedroom, I tell him if he wants to make a mess he can clean up after himself or keep it in his room out of my way.
Then he starts having a go at me about how he has a job and does have time for it, and that I’m lazy and do nothing all day. I tell him if he doesn’t have time to do it then he shouldn’t have started and it would only take him a second to at least put it somewhere out of the way. And he can’t expect me to clean up after him just because I’m not working.
I know this kinda something about nothing a bit petty, but I’m fed up clearing up after him. So what does reddit think? AITAH?
NTA. You didn’t dump the decorations on him out of nowhere, you moved his mess out of shared spaces twice and he intentionally put it back to provoke you. Dropping baubles all over the sofa after you cleaned up was childish on his part.
He can’t use “I have a job” as an excuse to trash the shared space and expect you to clean up just because you’re currently unemployed. That’s not how shared living works. You weren’t being petty, you were setting a boundary he kept ignoring.
He started the mess, he escalated it, and he tried to insult you when you finally pushed back. You’re not the asshole for refusing to be his maid.
I think you picked the wrong fight. If it had been his stuff which he’d been slobby about, sure, but it was *your* decorations, and it’s perfectly reasonable for him to think others should help in decorating the shared tree – especially the person who owns the decorations.
Pick another fight.
ESH
That is a fair point. And usually I do all of the decorations for Halloween and Christmas, I guess I’ve just not felt very Christmassy this year.
Thought he did go and get my decorations out of my cupboard without asking. Not that I would really mind if he’d put them back
You are not an asshole, you stood up for yourself and your tidiness, I don’t know what is wrong with working professionals who are untidy, sometimes it feels they are entitled to leave a mess just because they earn, what you did was right