Using a throwaway because my main has my name and posts in my college subreddit and would rather stay anonymous haha.
In one of my courses, we were randomly assigned group members for a project. I (22F) was with 3 other men (don’t know ages but early 20’s). One of the members I was familiar with, I wouldn’t call us friends but we’ve had other classes and assignments together. The other two I didn’t know.
We met in the library to decide a topic and assign roles so we could go home and do our parts on our own. When we got there, the wifi was down. One of the group members offered we could go to his apartment since he lives right beside campus. Usually, I wouldn’t be comfortable with this but it was the man I’ve worked with before so I felt it was okay.
After around 10 minutes of getting to his place, I went to the bathroom and saw I was on my period, and it was HEAVY. I used to bring tampons with me everywhere but since starting the pill 2 years ago, I’ve never once had an unexpected one so eventually I stopped. I had bled through my underwear and pants. Luckily, I had a sweater tied around my waist and it hadn’t bled through that yet.
This man lived alone so I doubted he had any tampons/pads and I wasn’t comfortable announcing this to everyone. I told them I needed to leave because I was feeling sick but said once I got home, I could call them to keep helping out. They told me don’t worry about it, they would just let me know what topic and roles they decided on and let me know.
When I asked later what was decided, they told me they were feeling “really motivated” and finished the whole project that night? I was shocked and felt bad I didn’t contribute to it.
Here’s the issue: the professor is going to make us fill out a “participation” form after we turn in the project to confirm how each member contributed. As it is now, it will look like I purposely didn’t help at all!
I asked my group members what we should do about this and they were quiet and just said they didn’t really “want to lie.” I told them it’s not my fault they did everything without me and if they don’t agree to give me any credit, I’ll have to take this to the professor. They are now upset saying I’m trying to get them in trouble if they don’t “lie.” AITA?
Info
How do you think this will go? You telling the professor, hey I got my period so I didn’t do anything isn’t going to work….
Also there was still time after the project , you can have proof read it, edited it and even add your own slides
NTA. You said you’d give them a call when you got home and he said not to. If they were working on it after you left, it is their job to let you know. They didn’t even assign you any work to do separately. That’s on them. You don’t deserve a failing grade for work you would have completed but weren’t given the chance to complete
ETA: what kind of group project is so small they all finished it in one night? Check it over before it’s submitted. They may have half assed it. I have a degree in engineering so I worked almost exclusively with college guys on group projects……I had to do a LOT of cleaning up
Sounds like a reasonable situation to take to the professor. A personal matter came up, you attempted to pull your weight, but they had already completed. Maybe the professor can find something else for you. This is not getting the other people in trouble. All they did was get the assignment done too fast.
NTA. You left for a good reason, offered to call in so you could continue the work, and had a reasonable expectation that all that was being decided was how the work would be split. When they decided to keep working on it they should have contacted you.
I presume that there’s still time between now and when the project is due? If so I see two solutions
1. You take over all final editing of the project, including ensuring all citations.
2. You review the work done and find an aspect of it you can further flesh out or that just isn’t addressed, even if that is something you’d normally consider beyond the scope of the assignment.
Then nobody has to lie and you don’t feel guilty.
Also you want to do that just in case “we were really motivated” means “we got AI to do a lot of this and didn’t even check the output”.
INFO: When you said you ‘asked later’, what does that mean time-wise? When you got home later that night? The night before it was due? Other?
ESH
YTA just for this part right here “If they don’t give me any credit, I’ll have to take it to the professor.” So you want them to lie and give you credit for something you didn’t do, and you plan to lie as well?
And them, they didn’t leave you any part to do later.
Just ask the professor to add another section or segment, and do it.
That’s not how it works in college. You can’t just ask a professor to add another section. Those boys shouldn’t have completed the assignment without her and the fact that THEY told her not to worry is even worse
Issues with group projects are common enough that contacting the professor as early as possible for a backup solution isn’t super uncommon. The longer OP waits the less likely that will be though.
Not going to opine on the AH part, but will offer a solution – go to the professor and explain the situation, ask if there is something you can do individually to complete the assignment. It’s not fair to ask the group to lie about your participation, however, you also have a legitimate medical excuse. The professor should be able to accommodate it with an individual project, especially if the group was able to complete in one night. This way you won’t be taking credit for work you didn’t do or asking the group to lie, but still having an opportunity to get credit to your grade for your work.
Edit:
YTA -I reread your last paragraph.
> If they dont agree to give me any credit Ill take it to the professor.
For what? Them telling the truth? Pressuring them into telling the professor you did work you *didnt* do, is an asshole move. Pressuring them with **threats** is blackmail. It doesn’t matter why you didn’t do it. That is between you and the professor, not between you and the other students.
I left my original reply crossed out, because if you hadn’t threatened them, there wouldn’t have been an issue.
~~NAH~~
~~It is reasonable to have to go home when you’re bleeding through everything in a strange place. It is also reasonable for them to be honest and say they did all the work (when asked).~~
~~The solution is talking with the prof, explaining the situation, and checking if any alternative assessments are possible.~~
~~So far everyone has behaved reasonably and I don’t see where the conflict is.~~
YTA
>if they don’t agree to give me any credit, I’ll have to take this to the professor
Or… you could find something to do to contribute to the project, instead of trying to bully them into giving you credit for work you didn’t do?
Go through and proof what they did. Double check and fine tune things. There’s always more than can be done on a project, but instead of even trying to think of a way to contribute, you’re throwing up your hands and demanding someone give you a grade you didn’t earn.
She was ready and eager to help AND called to participate. She didn’t just throw her up her hands and demand to be credited with help she didn’t give. They weren’t letting her help
Then she should take it to the professor, not to get her group mates in trouble but to get something else assigned to her to cover the part she didnt do.
YTA because you need to go to the professor to explain the situation, not get the group to lie for you. Either that or come up with your own stuff to add to the project, why wait for them to give you a role.