So first time writer bc I’m actually not sure how I’m feeling so I’m hoping hearing you guys out would help put things into perspective for me..
My bf and I have been together for roughly 2.5years now. First it was lovely, fun etc. if you ask me I do believe there were serious lovebombing in the beginning but that’s whatever as of now. Anyways this year has been so rough on him and I in the sense literally every month we’ve argued so bad we’ve brought up breaking up. Times I truly needed him, he wasn’t and honestly a part of me still has like .05% resentment towards him.
We’ve had multiple conversations about doing better but I never understand why the time for him to do better he just doesn’t and we are back in this loop. Don’t get me wrong I too have my shortcomings but I do try to be better for me and us. A part of me thinks he’s so emotionally avoidant that he’ll rather run and do everything else than have the real conversation.
November was really tough on us. I’m not joking when I see every single day was me sending him lengthy ass paragraphs and a bit of him sending me some too. It even goes to a point where like we just told each other like it’s best we just don’t speak for like the remainder of the month but it’s what we just kept coming back talking and like the more we spoke the more we just did not come down to resolution. In November, I was I felt like I was the one trying to put the most effort in just trying to get us to have some sort of recovery because I knew our relationship was not never going to be the same after this.
When I would reach out, it was almost like he was acting like I’m disturbing him which honestly had me begin to just emotionally withdraw, which I feel like I started doing and It’s like getting worse because like now like he’s trying to coming back and get back into good grace. Saying it’s a new month, apologizing, let’s try and move on from. He was going through things he didn’t know how to share w me and he was very overwhelmed with me and life. but like guys I am currently emotionally attached and redrawn at the same time, but leaning more on redrawn. I feel like I’m just getting checked out like and I don’t get it because even today we are still having little random arguments that don’t make any fucking sense and I just feel like at this point like I don’t know what to do.
I would like to hear you guys opinions, on how to just navigate this space bc a part of me wants to move on but there’s another part that’s going to miss him and the things, travels and fun we have :(.
But I am exhausted in everything. Do guys think there’s still love and a relationship worth fighting for or having?
An LDR is at best foreplay for the real thing and if the real thing never happens it’s pretty normal to get bored. Two and half years is long enough to have closed the distance if there was ever any real intention to be IRL. What you describe sounds like barely more than being traveling companions. So yeah, if neither of you plans to move to actually live in the same city as the other there’s probably just not a lot here to keep you interested.