I asked the man next to me at the pharmacy seating area to stop smacking his gum. I very kindly said "I’m not trying to be an asshole but could you please stop smacking your gum?" he goes ‘mmm a little bit of an asshole’. He then went on to talk about how he would rather have less Christmas music (some I, a fellow shopper, have…any control over?) and made a big scene about throwing away the gum, which is not something I asked or implied he should do.
Now two things: 1. I am autistic and sound is a huge sensory overload for me. the sound was making me want to scream. Obviously doing that *would* make me the asshole, however I was very kind and patient in my ask of him to stop making the noise. I also waited about ten minutes before saying anything.
2. If there was anywhere else to go sit and wait, I would have. I acknowledge this is a me nerve to have hit, but I was literally losing my mind, and again, I was very kind and patient in my request. I didn’t snap or cop an attitude.
YTA. I agree with you that smacking gum is annoying. But your sensory issues are for you to manage, not for strangers to accommodate.
Why not? Why shouldn’t people learn how to behave properly in public?
Why can’t people just chew like they’re civilized?
> I am autistic and sound is a huge sensory overload for me
So you should have ear plugs with you, yes?
I work with/know a lot of autistic people. Every single one of them that has sensory/noise issues carries ear plugs with them in public. Most of them have the fancy ones that block background noise like that, but have different settings to allow for conversations.
Just wanting to address this comment, not necessarily defend OP. I personally wouldn’t ask a stranger to stop snapping their gum (although I would also not make loud obnoxious mouth noises in public either, so I guess I think ESH). But as an autistic person with noise and sensory issues, earplugs of all types are a nightmare for me. Possibly my ears are just weirdly shaped, because I find anything internal to be really painful, and even the over-ear ones dig and hurt in odd places. I tried for years to find some that worked for me, with no success.
AuDHD here. I have two pairs of earplugs for different situations/circumstances, on my person, at all times.
ETA: Thank you for the award, friend <3
Info: Since you state you have sensory issues, what coping skills did you use before you asked someone to adjust their behavior?
Objectively, gum smacking is rude as hell. In a public space with lots of people around, we as civilized people should exercise consideration for those in the space we share. If someone is being rude and that rudeness is impacting those around them, then NTA to politely ask for the rudeness to stop. Gum smacking, blowing your nose at a restaurant, farting in a crowd, bathing in perfume/cologne/body spray before going to the gym, talking in a movie theater… all things that people should know better not to do.
Thank you. The comments felt like no one is entitled to public space where people behave and are considerate of others. That’s wild. Being considerate in public is absolutely necessary for society to function.
People move aside for each other on sidewalks. People move to the right on the escalator to let faster people pass. People queue. People tuck umbrellas out of the way of someone else’s shins. People put in headphones as to not bother others with their music (ok not all people do but they should). We do things for others all the time, and that’s a good thing.
Edit: NTA for the bot
Right? One comment above is ‘*you don’t get to tell people what they can and can’t do with their bodies in a public space’* – like I’m pretty sure that’s about the *only* time when you can politely speak up.
If we cant remind each other of the most basic common courtesies, such as not spitting in the street, not smacking gum in strangers ears, and not pissing on walls, what the fuck are we even doing. NTA
NTA, being autistic and having sensory issues does not matter in this instance. chewing any food with your mouth open is disgusting and rude, it shouldn’t be done in public.
I am not autistic and the sound if smacking or popping gum constantly drives me nutso. Used to be considered incredibly rude and trashy to do so. Aparently not anymore considering some of the comments here.
NTA. IDGAF if I’m the minority on this.
Wow, this is the world we live in now? Someone else is being loud and rude in a public space, but the OP is an AH for asking them to stop?? Its not like they walked over and smacked the gum out of their mouth.
This shit is why the world is fucked. This right here. We deserve to get smited and reset at this point. I choose to go into public and try to be well behaved and polite, but apparently most of you are defending this kind of shitty behavior because people have the RIGHT to be awful? I hate it here.