I 19 Female, have a friend, Lana, who loves teasing people for reactions. When she started dating her boyfriend, she suddenly began making jokes like, Careful, my boyfriend is too cute, Kali probably wants him for herself. At first I laughed awkwardly, assuming she’d drop it. But she started repeating it at parties, in group chats, even in front of people I barely knew. Some people started giving me weird looks, like I was secretly chasing after someone else’s man.
I pulled her aside and said it made me uncomfortable because it wasn’t true and it made me look desperate or sneaky. She just laughed and said I was too sensitive.
Last week at a hangout, someone asked her how they met, and she said, Well I had to get to him before Kali did. Everyone laughed except me. I said calmly, I’ve already told you I don’t like that joke. It’s not funny anymore.
She got embarrassed and later texted me saying I ruined the mood and should’ve just laughed along. I told her I tried to fix it privately first. She’s still mad.
AITA for shutting down a joke at my expense?
NTA she’s trying to use you to stroke her own ego in a “he chose me” kind of way when there wasn’t even a competition.
Keep shutting her down. I’d even support getting meaner about it tbh
Yeah, it really does feel like that. I’m definitely going to keep shutting it down, her jokes went way too far.
You should react like “EW! Gross! HIM?! Ew” and see how quickly she stops.
It’s an ego thing, and that will leave a bruise.
Nah, he’s done nothing to warrant an insult. I’d go the other way. “Yeah, be careful, you make that joke so often maybe I’ll start believing it and do it.” I’m betting her friend thinks OP is actual competition and has an inferiority complex about it and this is just using this as an “I’m prettier than you” thing
You know, actually a good point you make, no need for him to catch a complete stray.
Poor dude is probably feeling so awkward when she says that stuff
Respond with “Lana was in a one woman race for her boyfriend”.
You’re NTA anymore then anyone else who has posted some version of this same formula lately.
– friend or coworker repeatedly tells the same “joke” or lie intended to humiliate OP
– OP tries to resolve it privately with the bully, gets brushed off
– bully does it again. OP says something in front of the crowd bully is using as his/her audience
– bully gets embarrassed, blames OP
Nta. Shes not a friend. Youre her emotional punchbag. Shes a pain
Yeah, it’s starting to feel that way. I’m realizing this isn’t how a real friend acts.
As soon as you said “she likes to tease people for reactions” I was like this person is too immature to be friends with. That’s middle school shit.
NTA, and this sounds like the beginning of the end of your friendship with her.
NTA. And her behavior is…weird…she might feel threatened by your presence, but her choices are so odd. Beyond that, though, you asked her to stop so she’s weird and an ah.
Thanks! it really does feel weird and unnecessary. I just wish she had respected my request to stop.
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