I (M40) was 3/4 through snow blowing our considerably large driveway and sidewalk, when my wife (F37) and sons (twins, M3) got home. The boys were in pure toddler form and being a handful. I stopped what I was doing and helped get them inside and their winter gear off.
After that, because I was already covered in snow and soaked, plus the fact that we are anticipating 8" (3" had already accumulated), I figured I would finish ASAP. I went back to it and finished up in about 15 minutes.
I came back in to chaos of both both boys wailing bloody murder and my wife on the point of boiling over. I stripped my winter gear and rushed into the living room to look after the boys so my wife could tap out. As I passed her, she glared at me and has been ever since. I offered to usher the boys up to our family room so she could be alone and start dinner. She muttered under her breath something about her need for a break "didn’t matter" and cold shouldered me and is freezing me out. I refuse to apologize for something that was not communicated as an issue or expectation.
For some context, I always handle the cold weather chores because of her asthma. We always split dinner cooking and watching the boys, and I usually cook. We are both highly active engaged parents that are working professionals.
AITA?
Edit:
Thanks for the genuine thoughts and funny comments. I didn’t post in lieu of communication, just as a gut check on my emotional blindness that can come with AuDHD. My wife and I are chatting it out now and the culprit was me making assumptions and her having a couple hard work days + a snowy commute with rambunctious toddlers. I am ok being TAH for this one. My bad.
Eh, doesn’t sound like anyone’s the AH here. Sounds like it was a typical stressful day in a family with two small children.
Give her a hug, tell her you are sorry she had a tough day and bond over how hard it is to be a parent of small children together.
💯 Took your advice. We are chilling and chatting with Frosty on to co- parent for us.