So my (26f) long term boyfriend (25m) has been struggling with fears of intimacy more recently after opening a can of worms from his past that I don’t think either of us were prepared for.
It’s caused him to retreat from anything remotely sexual, including porn or masturbation, and this has been going on for months. We also haven’t had sex while he’s been working through this.
My concern is that he’ll have some sort of adverse effects from this. I’ve heard that it’s not good for men’s health to restrict themselves in this way but I don’t know if that was just a lie my previous partners said to initiate sex lol.
Also how can I help encourage him to overcome this fear as a man? He’s in therapy but it seems like there are layers to this problem that I wouldn’t understand as a woman.
Any insight would be appreciated!
He’d have to go longer than a month before I’d really worry.
And.
If you’re having *intimacy issues*, he may eventually *quietly rub one out* without telling you.
I’ve actually been encouraging him to do this on his own because I’m worried about his health, but he claims he isn’t able to bring himself to even if he’s blue-balling himself
If he’s struggling with sexual trauma, he needs therapy. Idk what issue was brought up that caused all this but I’m assuming if he can’t climax and nothing physical happened to him then it’s all mental.
[According to this Harvard Study …](https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer)
… men who masturbate or orgasm 21 times per month or more have a 31% lower incidence of prostate cancer. Interestingly, the study set out to see if excessive masturbation INCREASED statistical probability of prostate cancer.
Now it all makes sense. This new wave of getting closer to god and becoming holy by stopping masturbation and starting “retention” really is getting you closer to god. By killing you faster.
Wake up, it’s all just Big Prostate Cancer propaganda!
It’s a Big Prostate Care conspiracy. Need more prostates to care
Big Prostate will not be happy
21 times a month?
Those are rookie numbers
I probably average 50 but aspire to 90.
*^^The ^^spirit ^^is ^^willing, ^^but ^^the ^^flesh ^^is ^^weak ^^and ^^spongy*
90 is easy. In a month with 30 days thats just three times a day.just gotta step it up for February XD
PLEASE STOP POSTING THIS GODDAMN STUDY. This study is used around the country as a great example how even bad papers can get published. We did a case study of this paper in one of my doctoral level classes in epidemiology. They misinterpret their own ORs. They fail to control for essential confounds that are associated with both outcome and exposure and are not in the etiological pathway. It’s all based on self-report data from elderly men about masturbatory habits from their 20s, and shocker, the men without cancer are more willing to report engaging in a taboo behavior. THESE ARE EPI 101 LEVEL MISTAKES. I’ve reviewed for numerous journals including several high impact ones and I can tell you, this paper would not even have been a “revise and resubmit” from me, it would have been an instant rejection.
It’s not healthy, like others said. Fun fact, I had a friend that though of himself as asexual (which, in reality, was in denial of being emasculated by his mom). So this poor middle aged virgin guy, wasn’t taking care of himself at all. He explained to me that he periodically woke up in the morning with his underwear full of his cream. Even the body says “enough, need to clean pipes now” once in a while.
It’s less of a sexual health issue and more of a mental health issue. Sure there are physical side effects, but those require a lot longer than one month to take effect, ie prostrate cancer.