So my roommate asked if their friend could crash at our place for a couple of nights because they were in town. I said no because we literally just cleaned the apartment and I value my personal space. My roommate got really upset and accused me of being “unfriendly” and “unsupportive.” I offered to meet the friend outside or grab drinks, but they still got mad. I might be the asshole because it was only for a couple of nights and I could’ve been more flexible, but I also feel like it’s my right to say no in my own home.
You are the asshole
Why do you think you can dictate who stays in your roommates’ room for a couple of days? Unless it is in your lease that no one is ever allowed to have guests, then you don’t have the right to demand that. Have you ever had guests?
Your home is a shared space. The only “home” that is solely yours is your bedroom. Otherwise the other spaces are shared spaces and you do not unilaterally get to determine what can and cannot happen in them. Have a discussion, have rules, agree upon things together.
YTA Full Stop
YTA
YTA unless there’s some type of unknown agreement beforehand. Wouldn’t the guest be staying in THEIR room?
YTA – it’s your home, but it’s also their home.
You’re absolutely allowed to value your space and cleanliness, but refusing outright without any flexibility puts your comfort above your roommate’s ability to host a guest in their shared space. A couple of nights is a pretty reasonable ask. Offering to meet the friend out was kind, but it doesn’t replace the basic courtesy of compromise when you live with someone.
You weren’t wrong to have boundaries but how rigidly you enforced them without regard for the fact that it’s their home too is what makes YTA
YTA. If you can’t hack living with room-mates and treating shared space as shared, equally entitled to space, find an apartment on your own.
YTA
You do realize it’s your roommate’s home too? It’s a couple of nights, not weeks. Not to mention it sounds like someone your roommate may not get to see often.
Your “personal space” is your bedroom. The living room, kitchen and bathroom are shared spaces and your roommate should be able to have a guest over for a couple of nights.
This place is your home but is it not your roommates home as well? YTA
YTA
I’m guessing you’d never be in the same situation because you dont have many friends.
Big time YTA
YTA.. you both pay rent and both have the right to utilizing the space how you’d like within reason. A guest for a couple of nights is not overstepping bounds.
I get it’s your home and you value your space.
But it is your roommates home too, and it sounds like they made a reasonable request, and is a usual expectation to have the occasional short term visitor.
What if you want a friend over? Do you also not ‘alllow’ romantic partners?
From the face of it, I am afraid YtA.
Good note for future: before agreeing to move in with someone, this is a very important area to discuss. How people use the shared space and resources for socialising.
YTA.
You clearly stated in your argument that “it’s my right to say no in my own home.” Is it not ALSO your roommate’s home? If there is some left out information here, like it is legally your home (you are the owner of the property) then you might have a gripe. But, I also feel like those sorts of things should have been made clear in your agreement to share/rent/let your space to others.
Sorry bud. YTA.