For some background: We all came to a new class together last year, so we know each other for **1 year only** as of now. Amy, John, and Claire all were classmates for several years before me. Amy is the friend from the title, she is a girl. John is her ex now, but they were dating when we came to the class. They broke up in the middle of the last academic year. There is also another girl classmate involved in this, let’s call her Claire. We’re all 16-18 years old.
So, last academic year I was supporting Amy during her breakup with John. I basically just listened to her stories about him sometimes and supported her when she was in a bad mood because of her relationships. But actually she **never** told me about the breakup herself, I found out everything through conversations with Claire. Nonetheless, I’m good friends with Amy now and she reciprocates.
Back then Claire was telling me everything Amy told her too. After some time, apparently, Claire got too comfortable and openly confessed that she likes him romantically. And she told me all of that despite Amy trusting Claire with her struggles about her breakup with John.
Recently, I started talking more with John and hung out several times **one-on-one**. We **studied** together and that’s it. Not a long time ago I invited him to my **house**, and we **just studied** too. He’s a very friendly person and generally I enjoy his company as a **friend**. Studying with him is also productive for both of us.
Amy **knows** that I talk with him, cause he once told her that we send reels to each other. But it’s **not exclusive**, because he has many other friends and it’s his regular way of communicating. Although, she doesn’t know we studied together, as far as I know.
Amy has never directly asked me not to see John. But she once told me that she feels bad when girls in our class openly show interest in John despite knowing Amy and John’s situation. Moreover, she found out that Claire has feelings to John.
I am not romantically interested in B and do not plan to date him. He’s a nice friend and very knowledgable.
So the question is: AITA for inviting John over, when our friendship is purely academic, despite knowing that Amy feels bad when the girls from class support him instead of her??
YTA. Just the fact that you’ve spent all these words explaining the situation and feel insecure enough to ask about it on Reddit is a huge red flag for a situation that will definitely create problems within the group, especially considering that you’re all very young. You say you have no romantic interest in John and that you’re a good friend of Amy. So why would you risk losing Amy and breaking up the group just to be able to invite John to your place to study? Stay out of it… and ask yourself whether you really see John as just an academic friendship 😀
“Stay out of it” she isn’t in it.
If her friend decides to drag her into some petty high school musical type drama then she is the A hole. Not OP.
Contrary to popular believe just because your friend breaks up with someone, that doesn’t mean you have to pick sides.
YTA, you know what you’re doing, none of this happened by chance or just fell into place, you want this situation and are willing to cause trouble to have what you want.
Yta, if amy is really your friend you shouldn’t be hanging out with her ex, especially cause she’s expressed that she feels bad when other girls are showing him attention and you know that, and a should drop c as a friend because after she told her all her feelings she ran back to tell you, even if y’all are all friends everything doesn’t have to be shared with everyone, like who else is she telling, hoping A finds better
The thing that got me is that there’s only 10 people in your class
Do you live in a very small town? Your circle is very small and kids need friends. Whatever you do, try not to cause drama yourself. If you and John do want to date in the future, you should definitely ask Amy first. Tell Claire to stop gossiping before the gossip is about her.
Nta, no one owns their exes.
NTA.
Amy doesn’t own her ex. It would not be reasonable for her to expect other class mates to essentially ostracize John just because they broke up.
Certainly NTA. Friendships and acquaintances develop. It doesn’t seem like John is a bad person for having a broken up relationship with Amy. You can support Amy in her struggles about John while simultaneously having an academic or platonic friendship with John, although that can get messy and Amy is allowed to be upset about that if she will be.
NTA but if Amy knows and it makes her uncomfortable, decide if you’re really her friend or not and pick either her or John
I’m sure John is cool, my exes are cool but my friends are also cool and wouldn’t hang out with my exes lol
NTA
Contrary to popular believe, their romantic status or lack thereof does not mean you have to choose a side.
If either one of these decided to bring drama to your doorstep, they are the assholes.
We are talking about the real world here, it’s not some stupid high school musical drama show season 23. People need to stop living life as if it is and chill out.