Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half, we’re both 28. There’s been turbulence from the beginning but I can’t question her loyalty or her heart. I just found out she’s pregnant, it wasn’t planned. I’ve said to her I’ll stand by her whatever she decides to do but we both acknowledge that we have things to work on before bringing a child into it. I can’t ever see myself asking her to get an abortion even if it’s not the right time since it’s something I need to step up and be responsible for. I’m just scared right now to be honest and my head is all over the place, any advice would be appreciated.
Do you have a job and money and are you guys nice to each other? Ive never had an unplanned pregnancy but a bunch of my freinds have, it all worked out with the ones that weren’t struggling financially and who were genuinely kind good hearted people.
Yeah we’re in a good place, only thing that worries me is that we argue a lot
Is it serious arguing or just bs. Can both of you be calm and admit to being wrong or overreacting orvwhatever and move past certain things? Theres arguing then theres arguing.
The problem is she has a hormonal condition which she admits can make her very reactive, admittedly I can also be typical dumb man sometimes which doesn’t help. Things get heated then we make up but the cycle happens often
How you argue matters. Can you do so without wounding each other, and do you repair well? These things can be learned by two earnest people.
My brother and his wife argue a lot, always have. They had their first kid at 19, then had four more. 20 something years later they’re still together and more or less happy I would say.
As the man you have to be willing to set and maintain your boundaries calmly and firmly, and be ready to play and have fun at a moments notice if you’re not being disrespected.
She’s in the kitchen making dinner while I’m working in the home office, 19 years later. That said, she was sane, caring, warm, loving, and for some reason, really into me. So it worked for us. Our 18 year old is at work right now.
guy I knew in high school got his girlfriend pregnant before graduation.. ten years later they are still together and they had two kids more and are one of the more stable couples I know..
I dont know the kind of situation you are in but I doubt that its worse then what my guy had..
After spending tens of thousands of dollars on IVF, I would give anything to get my girlfriend, now wife, pregnant ++man
I stood by her and we lived together for the 1st 2 years, but parted ways when she wanted marriage and I didn’t. A year later I discovered that I wasn’t the biological father. Not a great time for anyone !
If you do end up keeping it… honestly it’s 2025. Even if you don’t end up together, you can co parent. It has worked perfectly for one of my friends and their kid is great, they are both happy in different relationships and things are pretty smooth. There’s no magic to tell you how is going to go, just make sure you keep your head and your heart straight. And on the other hand – another friend of mine is a bit older, got his gf pregnant in their 20s, she chose to abort and he was overjoyed about that. Now he regrets that and wishes he had that kid, because he doesn’t have any others and he’s too old to start now (his words).
We were very young. We married and had two more and have lived a long successful life. Our kids are grown, and we now have grandchildren. The marriage had its ups and downs and there were significant challenges. It wasn’t all happiness but there was always purpose. I am trying to say this without sounding too sappy, but the children are the best thing that ever happened to me.
I got my GF pregnant after being with her for 4 months, she had endometriosis and was told her the probability to get pregnant naturally was almost 0%. Our son is turning 28 next month and we have been married for 27 years now.
She got pregnant. I didn’t want that. But I sat down and thought about life deeply one night and realized life is never perfect. We got married. Had the baby. Had more babies. Stayed married, yet had problems.
Wife died.
Still have kids both grown and at home. It wasn’t all peaches and roses. But I cannot imagine my life without my kids. If she didn’t get pregnant, would we have married? I don’t know. I cannot afford to live in the past. But I would not be the person I am if I didn’t have that first baby, and that baby is an amazing adult who is a wonderful friend who has helped me and siblings after their mom died. I don’t have advice. You asked how it turned out before you asked for advice. But I learned that for me, life without a child is just a selfish-MF.