So let’s begin from the start I had a childhood spent in boys only school until 5th ,then we moved to another place and the new school was consisting of both genders. So I was quite excellent at studies at that time and I was not a native speaker ,so I had to make friend with classmate who were native speaker to feel comfortable or else it felt like speaking mandarin chinese in front of Americans that way it was really uncomfortable.Those 2 were really not friends but just classmates to me so at that time I was not much familiar with speaking with girls and how to act in front of them ,like you cannot be as bold as you always are among boys while talking to girls you have to be soft ,but yeah I was not aware of this .
So that year I was giving a science exhibition and carried a cutter (talking abt std 5th) so one day the 2 so called friends came to me and told me that 2 girls were trying on them(i really didn’t understand what they meant at that time ) but yeah I was focused on studies at that age bcz I had nothing else to do ,this was something new to me so I thought of telling the girls to avoid these silly things at such young age but you may call it bad luck during that time I had the cutter in my hand and for fun I did the gesture and thorat slicing (i thought I would be cool and stop them from doing silly things ) and I was not serious at all it was just a joke for me and I even told the mom of one of the girls to look over her in a funny and casual way
.But everyting backfired ,the next day the teacher called me and the 2 friends Abt what happened and also at that time the teachers would only listen to complain if you would talk in english so the 2 girls called a 3rd girl"X" to talk with the teacher in english then things got rlly bad (the poor 3rd was not involved at all in this matter but got misunderstood by the teacher and got dragged into this shit),the teachers got very angry and for the first time in my life I recieved a slap from a teacher I was shocked ,the next day all 6 of our parents came and the teacher talked with individually and the teacher scolded me and told my mother that one of the parents was a reporter and can even defame the school due to this incident everything was my fault and for the first time in my life my parents were called to school was such a thing it really hurt me that my mother had to go through this bcz of me .
From that moment I made my mind to never talk to any girl .The same day after school the 2 girls came to apologise to me and realised that they had escalated the matter in worse but by luck the teacher was also present there a few feet away not looking at us ,but at the sight of my teachers I got afraid and left the site fearing of such another incidnetif I talked to them and not out of anger or hatred .
But from that day all 3 girls started to hate me ,for the 2 I became rude and arrogant because I did not accept their apology but I never could make up my heart to tell them the truth and I never talked to the 3rd girl "X" ( she was also exceltat studies) at that time so after that corona came and lockdown and everything so I did not ever get a chance to ever talk to any girl and also I had made up my mind .
But in 8th std when school reopened. A new girl was in our class (principal’s daughter) although I broke my friendship with those 2 friends so I had basically no friends but a matter of fact i don’t make friends with random but good people and she was rlly good and beautiful too but she also became friend with that 3 rd girl and I did try to talk to her but i couldn’t find the courage bcz eveytime i approach the girls in my class they became hesitant and felt uncomfortable which in turn made me uncomfortable too bcz everyone had come to know the matter . And for 2 years until 10th I observed the new girl and she was 10/10 beautiful,polite in behaviour,gentle and much more while the other girls in my class were basically chapri and I was not interested in them
.However even uptil 10th I didn’t ever talk to any girl . And I don’t know how an image of me formed in the class as rude , arrogant and what not I think this was due to me not talking to girls and being different that other boys ,which I was not aware about. So during mid 10th a friend of mine used to regularly visit me during recess and also talked with principal daughter and the 3rd girl X he was in 8th .So I one day out of nowhere he came and told me that the principal’s daughter said that if he wanted to talk to her then he must not talk to me . And I was shocked bcz I never ever talked to her not said anything about her to my friends or something.But I let it go thinking of it as some misunderstanding but you know it had been 5 years since I last talked to any girl ,and the more you run from something the closer it gets . And I really liked the principal daughter but didn’t approach her fearing of another incidnet like 5th
. I think the 3rd girl would have said something Abt me to the principal daughter sowing seeds of hatred in her mind. So in the ending of 10th i gathered up my courage and approach the 2 girls first and told them the truth and why I didn’t accept their apology and it was all sorted out.But when I tried to approach the principal daughter and 3rd girl they didn’t come and refused saying they didn’t wanna talk . I had no choice ,i couldn’t force them .
But 2 years later (7years now) in 12th I tried to approach the principal daughter and 3 rd girl trying to apologise to her and also finding out the reason for such hatred but the 3rd just blocked me right away ,but the principal daughter didn’t block me but neither did she reply . I had to take help of one of her friends to communicate on WhatsApp. And she just said that " I am a physcopath and better go meet a phsycologist" just for the reason I tried to message her to apologise for something i never did to her all the problems I had were with the 3rd girl ,but never with the the principal’s daughter(my crush). And upon asking her to just forgive me through her friend she said I just don’t wanna talk to him and said " mujhe uski harkate psnd nhi" meaning I don’t like his behaviour. And I really love her . But I can do nothing more but still intend to approach her but I won’t i feel helpless she has now blocked me on WhatsApp and won’t accept my request on any other platform.
See the irony of life.
I love her with my soul and she hates me with the same for something i don’t even know
I tried to tell her that its not the same me as 5th std ,I was not mature back then,I am a human I make mistake. I apologized to her for mistake I never did . I already receive hatred from other girls in my class and now her too . I told her to please forgive me and I’m not the the 5th std boy anymore. I really wanna get along with her . I only fear girls to not cause any inconveniences to them .I respect them more than any one else my age . I can surely say I’m the kindest and most well behaved and mature boy acc to my age .But then why is it me who has to go through to the pain,torment and punishment for something i never did to her. Why doesn’t she wanna see the truth . I only for once she would had talked to me I would had cleared the misunderstanding.
Also one of the reason I never approached any of the girls bcz I had a lot of acne during that time compared to other boys and I really looked worse and I felt really uncomfortable. But still why is it always the good people who suffer . I know well that she really isn’t that type of hating girls . She is really kind but she just believes what her friend told and held onto that image of me. I cant meet her in real and she would really never come too . But even there’s the slightest chance i would still go for it . Through a friend of her i also came to know that there was a boy in her building who was a year older ,who was very cute and hot looking said she, liked her and my crush liked him too .But later he moved somewhere else only in a year .Now she has no crush .She still thinks of me as some rude, arrogant boy. My image in school really feels that of a criminal. I have suffered enough for 7 years now I can bear no more I feel helpless.Why do I have suffer now over a mistake I made in past ? Despite my academic excellence I still feel fked up
The thing is I understand I cannot force someone to love me . Neither did I ever try to .But i cannot accept hatred for no reason. You can’t just be blinded out by your friends over their past . That’s I the thing what hurts the most. If she would have had rejected me after I would have confessed I would have been OK . But she doesn’t even wanna talk .
If anyone is really super smart enough pls give me some advice to atleast chill out her hatred. I even gave her an apology letter on WhatsApp trying to address this issue ,but just doesn’t wanna talk any further
Pls upvote so I can get more help
Jesus this is hard to read. Paragraphs bro
You’re 19, I don’t think you should worry too mich
Yeah I’m sorry but I’m new to reddit after I got to know from my friend about it
Let’s see you write in stressed and not in your native language eh? Comment was not helpful in the slightest.
I did made the paragraphs shorter buddy so it becomes easier to read
Sorry you went through that! Look forward – not back. Debrief with a suitable counsellor and leave this in the past. I’ve made bigger mistakes than this! You will get through it, I promise 👌🏻
Yeah thanks ,but you know sometimes you can’t just let go of a memory bcz it’s the only connection with the past