So, in 2022, me (23TF) and my mom (57F) moved in with my Grandad (83). During that time, he got cancer again and assed away.
He had two cars, a 90s Corvette and a 2000s Lexus. He wanted my mom to have the Lexus and my Uncle (60M) to have the Corvette. He was very clear on who gets what car before he passed, although this was never written down anywhere.
Fast forward a few months, me and my mom have moved back in with her boyfriend, now with the Lexus. Our names were not registered to the Lexus, and we didn’t have driveway space for 3 cars.
So we went to my Uncle and he offered to help get our names registered, and he would hold onto it while we figure out driveway space. We trusted him with this cause hes the car guy.
My uncle registers the car in his name so he can drive it, so the engine doesn’t sit too long. Months go by without his help with the registration for us. He tells my mom the car is apparently in bad shape and needs repairs. And my mom agreed to let him do repairs.
A few more months go by, no help yet with the registration. He starts asking me if I want to keep the car for myself or sell it. I really wasn’t sure, I hadn’t had the chance to properly drive it yet. But I thought once our names get registered, me and mom will be able to drive it and then I can make a fully informed decision.
Well over 6 months go by, at a family lunch, my Uncle & Aunt confront me, saying they’re tired of having the Lexus in their driveway, tired I haven’t made a decision yet, and so now they are entitled to the Lexus because they held onto it for so long, so the car is theirs now. And that they will sell it for themselves so my Uncle can get money back on the repairs he did. But if I still wanted it, they would give it to me.
But I said no to the car, because they were so adamant about how the Lexus was theirs now and belongs to them, it felt like I HAD to let them keep it. I was so scared of making them mad, I let them keep and sell it so they wouldn’t get mad.
Well 2 years laters to now, December 2025. I write them a letter, expressing my perspective and feelings, basically everything I’ve said in this post. And that I want to patch this issue I’ve been too afraid to speak up about with them.
Well the responses have been very angry. I tell them I want to talk to both of them, but my Uncle responded in text with "I will not expose (Aunt) to this behavior. I was just trying to help. To hold resentment over this is ridiculous!".
I ask my Aunt if she read the letter and she said "Yes. You and your mom have a lot of unresolved feelings from two years ago. I will not be involved with those family discussions."
And now I feel bad for ever bringing it up to them and causing this big fight between us. It hurts a lot, I just want them to understand, but am I in the wrong here? Am I being entitled and wrong in this situation? We’re gonna talk to my Uncle tomorrow and I’m so scared.
It’s not hard to register a car you and your mother could have easily handled it and figured out parking on your own. You’re grown adults. You left it with you Uncle for an incredibly long time and it seems like neither you nor your mother did much at all to claim it. He repaired the vehicle and held it for you. You both had plenty of time to claim the vehicle but chose not to. Soft YTA for bringing this up **two years later**. Next time you are given something of value like a car, choose to be an adult and take care of it yourself.
YTA
You basically gave them the car
You should have registered it in your name in the beginning and not waiting around for it to magically happen
This literally is all on you
YTA (possibly ESH)
Registering a car can’t be that big of a deal that a 23 & 57 year old can’t do it for themselves.
You then left your uncle to deal wit the car & he’s claimed it wasn’t in good condition & needed repairs he made at his own expense (20 year old car, no surprises there).
You carried on letting your uncle be responsible for the car until such point as he’s claimed the costs incurred equal or exceed the value of the car, with no decision seeming likely from you – so he sold it to cover his costs.
You *could* ask for evidence of the repair cost & the sale value & argue the toss over any positive difference between them, but it doesn’t seem worth it.
You’ve now raked the whole thing up because you want to ‘address your feelings & perspective’ and they’re not interested.
Sounds like you brought this on yourselves through inaction and are now looking for validation that you aren’t at fault etc.
Well, you are… YTA you made bad/no decisions and now have to accept the consequences