A few weeks ago, my older sister (40F) asked me (23F) if I wanted her couch because she and her family were getting a new one. The couch is a white fabric couch they bought last year and she said it was expensive and still nice, aside from one small hole.
For context, my sister has three dogs: two French bulldogs and a Belgian Malinois puppy (Pearl). Pearl is very high-energy and not well trained due to my sister’s family being very busy. When left inside alone, Pearl destroys things (papers, cords, etc), so my sister leaves her outside whenever no one is home, regardless of weather.
While my sister was out of town, our younger sister (21F) stayed with the dogs. One cold, rainy morning she left Pearl inside while she went to work, and Pearl tore a small hole in the couch. When my older sister got home, she decided they wanted a new couch and bought a brown leather one.
She offered me the old couch. I initially declined because my boyfriend and I have two dogs and we couldn’t really have a white couch. She clarified she was giving it to us for free, not selling it, and said she’d rather give it to us than haul it away. After talking it over, I agreed to take it and mentioned we might reupholster it or, if not, possibly sell it and split the profit. She said it was fine and she just wants it gone.
Last week, her new couch was delivered and she paid the delivery people to bring the old couch to us (we live about 30 seconds apart). The couch is very large, so now it’s in our living room and our old couch is sitting awkwardly in our kitchen due to lack of space.
A few days later, my sister texted saying we haven’t been spending enough time with her and mentioned that I hadn’t properly thanked her for the couch or delivery. I apologized and thanked her. For context, I’m a nurse who works three overnight shifts a week (7 p.m.–7 a.m.), so I’m often exhausted and am not great at staying socially connected.
Days later, my mom called and told me my sister thinks I’m an AH for initially declining the couch, then accepting it once it was free, and that it would be wrong for me to sell it. My mom also thinks that if I do sell it, I should give my sister all the money.
From my perspective, the couch was given to me, it’s now in my home, and it doesn’t really work for our space or lifestyle. I still feel like selling it (especially since it’s now technically mine) is reasonable.
**WIBTA if I sold the couch?**
How much do you think you will get for the couch? I think you should try to sell it and even see if anyone will take it. The market for a used couch that has pet damage is pretty low.
NTA. If what you write is truly how it happened, you were upfront with your sister the whole time. About your doubts, about maybe selling it (and splitting it with her) or reupholstering it.
It’s REALLY hard to decide whether a couch fits your space, especially when you know the couch in another space (your sister’s home). Yeah it’s really nice of her that she paid for the people to bring the couch to you but like… she could have asked you if you wanted that? She didn’t need to do that?
I hate when people do things without communicating and then demand gratefulness.
In my eyes, you wouldn’t be an asshole if you sold the couch and split the money you get for it with your sister. However, I’d recommend having a proper chat with her before you sell it. Tell her what you told us. Apologize for not thanking her more thoroughly, you thought you had done so already and were tired from work. Tell her that you were excited about the couch but now that it’s in your home, it’s simply way too big (you could invite her to come judge for herself if she wants).
Tell her that you decided to sell the couch and that, as previously agreed upon, you’ll split whatever money you can get for it with her (and tbh, even if it’s a fancy ass design couch: if there’s a hole in it, idk if it’s gonna bring in a lot of money). You can also suggest doing something fun together as sisters with whatever money you get from it, maybe go out for a nice dinner or something?
A gift is a gift, you can’t set rules for the gift like “if you sell it then I want the money and you aren’t allowed to throw it away.”.
Note: They gave it to you, knowing you might sell it, and now it’s taking up space in your house and you don’t need it.
Once something is given away, the new owner decides what to do with it.
NTA. I think you are well within your rights to sell it.
But for the sake of not creating family drama, if you sell it, I would split the money with your sister. I don’t think keeping the extra money would be worth the headache.
While technically it is your couch, to sell it this soon, I agree with mom. Or better yet just tell her sis it’s just not working out for your space and ask her if she’d like it back to sell
NTA. Trying to control things after you’ve gotten rid of them is weird behavior. If she wanted money from selling it, she should’ve sold it. At most I would reimburse her the delivery she paid for.
Info: You discussed selling it and splitting the profit with your sister. So is that what you’re planning to do?
Yes, when we talked about it I told her that I was most likely going to sell it and I could split the profit with her, but she told me that it wasn’t necessary and she just wanted the couch gone.
NAH. But you already offered to split it and she incurred a cost to have it delivered to you. Just tell her it doesn’t work in the space and offer half the sale profit again to be polite. It’s fair because she paid to move it and you are doing the work to sell and store it until it sells. Then if she says not to worry about it you know you at least offered.
Ooof…. If this is a hill she wants to die on, sell it and give her only the hauling fee. This is petty shit.l and it sounds like the couch is now your problem. Next time, follow your gut and stick with no.
It sooounds like she didn’t do her homework and didnt think about how she would actually “get it gone.” It cost more money than she thought, and that’s not your fault. She could have discussed how/when the couch would be moved…. Does she do a lot of “favors” for people?? She’s 40. This isn’t her first couch purchase. Wtf.
NTA. She wanted it gone and didn’t want to deal with selling it. You don’t mind so it’s yours to sell.
Call her and say you realized it would get ruined by your dogs and either she can have it back or if she doesnt want it, could you sell it? ASK. ALWAYS ASK.
NAH
“Hey thanks for thinking of us with the couch – after we got it in the house it was clear it didn’t fit our space. I sold it for $X – here’s your half.”