My roommate/ex best friend and me have been living together in a dorm room and there’s been a lot of tension. She’s very passive aggressive with me and I simply avoid her because of it. There’s a lot more to the story which I’ve posted about I just don’t want to make the post super long. I received an email saying that my floor was chosen to participate in a room relocation form if we wanted to because of vacancies in solo rooms. I thought it was my chance to escape this toxic environment and filled it out. On Wednesday, she and I had a "heart to heart" which was just her telling me how much in the wrong I was for avoiding her and not confronting her when in reality I only saw confronting her as an opportunity for her to be meaner and for the room to feel colder. Sure I don’t see her a lot and intentionally stay out of the dorm, but when we’re together I’m always civil. After that confrontation, I immediately emailed the housing people and asked to withdraw the application because she had made me feel so badly about myself and that everything was my fault so I felt like I didn’t deserve to be the one moving out since I was the one avoiding her and doing the harm because of it. The next day, they called me and asked if I was sure because they had a room ready and vacant for me and I could claim if I wanted to. I impulsively said yes because I just wanted to get out of there. I texted her yesterday saying the following "Hi, I wanted to give you advanced notice of this so you would have time to mentally prepare for next semester: I received notice of a solo dorm opening and my family and I thought it was the right decision for my mental health to take it. If you’d like an explanation, I am happy to provide it, but if you’d prefer to simply take some time to yourself and leave it at that, I understand as well. I know rooming together has put a strain on our friendship and I hope this decision can help ease the pressure that I believe can be partially attributed to living together. I hope that some positive aspects emerge from this for you." She responded today with a long text saying that she was "highly disappointed" and that I was "inconsiderate, rude, and selfish" for doing this to her and that I was intentionally hiding this from her. Which I was. I just didn’t see the point in telling her about an application that I wasn’t sure was gonna work out and just cause unnecessary and further tension within the shared room. She said now she can’t plan for herself and has to pray that she doesn’t get put with a random roommate and is now asking that we don’t speak to each other. AITA? Advice on what to say to her in response would be greatly appreciated it. I have to see her at least twice a week for school because of our shared major/scholarship thing.
**NTA. Her reaction proves exactly why you needed to leave.**
Notice how she spun the narrative? First, she cornered you to tell you how terrible you are, making you feel so guilty that you almost stayed. Then, when you finally made a decision for your own mental health, she called you “selfish” and “rude.”
You are not breaking a lease; you are moving dorm rooms. You don’t owe her a warning period so she can approve your life choices. She is angry because she lost her punching bag, not because she “can’t plan.” Enjoy your solo room and the peace that comes with it.