I’ve been having a conflict with a girl at my school and I feel like my boyfriend isn’t taking my side. Here’s the backstory.
I met C in kindergarten. We always ended up at the same schools but were never really friends. She was the kind of kid who would cry if someone looked at her wrong just to get them in trouble. I was terrified of people growing up so i usually avoided her. We were always nice to each there tho.
Last summer, I reconnected with C through mutuals. I realized that she had really changed and we became friends.
When I started my junior year, I transferred to the school that my guy best friend and C were going to. The school was alternative so you could choose your classes, and school was only held twice a week. I took culinary, visual art, and PE. C and I shared two classes and we got very close. She became my closest friend since my real best friend was out of state. Around the time school started, I started texting a guy from my PE class. There was mutual interest, that’s all, and C was very invested in it.
In October, C invited me to a weekend church camp. I knew nobody there besides her. I saw a really cute guy around camp, but I didn’t approach him. I thought it was okay to be looking at him since I wasn’t officially with anyone. Some girls who were friends with the guy told me that he wanted me. C got very excited. His friends introduced us to him. We walked around and chatted for an hour and ended up making out behind the cabins. I trusted C and told her, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I talked to the guy briefly after camp, but it faded after about a week. Around the same time, I started dating the guy from PE class.
By Halloween, I was fully with my boyfriend. That night, our friend group went out together. My best friend flew in from out of state to surprise me, and we ended up running ahead of the group. We briefly ran into C’s mom, who later accused me of “abandoning” C, even though no one told me I was responsible for her.
After Halloween, C acted normal, then suddenly stopped talking to me at school. I assumed we drifted apart and I was okay with that. I didn’t interact with her for over a month after that. Then last week, my boyfriend randomly asked if I’d made out with a guy at church camp. I didn’t want to lie so I said yes and explained it happened before we were official. I asked how he knew and he said his mom told him and she’d heard it from our PE teacher.
My mom confronted the teacher and found out that C had gone to her saying she was “worried about me” and claimed I cheated on my boyfriend with four guys. The only real situation was the camp guy, which wasn’t cheating since I wasn’t with my boyfriend yet.
Now, my boyfriend thinks C meant no harm and wants me to make up with her, but everyone else thinks she was trying to damage my reputation. I understand my boyfriend is in an awkward position, but it’s starting to make me feel like I did something far worse than I actually did.
I stopped reading roughly 2 sentences in, you need to at least give names to the characters in your story to make it mildly coherent.
my bad i did that because of the character count limit lol
This seems like a relationship issue, not something we can judge here.
I recommend posting it to r/AITA_Relationships instead.
okkk thanks
NTA I’m wondering why your bf is in an awkward situation unless you told him to choose between being with you or continuing being friends with C. C is probably envious that guys seem to find you attractive, which means she has issues or she is attracted to your bf and wants him to break up with you. I am also wondering why moms are sticking their noses in.
thank so much for ur input. what you are saying is exactly what i have been thinking about the situation. especially the part about the moms seems to be a common occurrence surrounding C lol. i honestly havn’t talked to my bf about it much i just feel like he may be salty about it because it involves me with another guy
I understand your bf is uncomfortable about the camp situation because it involves another guy but you didn’t cheat on him or anyone else so that’s his insecurities and I have a feeling C is contributing to his insecurities. It doesn’t even matter if you made out with 1 guy or 4 guys because that is not unusual for a single person. Are you the first girl your bf has kissed? You don’t have to even talk about the camp situation with him but you should talk to him about C and the moms trying to interfere with your relationship with him. If he is not going to stand for you on this he probably will not stand up for you on issues that come up in the future. My husband and I have never asked nor talked about relationships we had before we got together because they are the past and we are our present and future. Partners need to have each other’s backs but it doesn’t sound like he has yours.
Nothing you did makes you an ahole. Your relationship with C is nobody’s business, don’t forgive her if you don’t want to. She wasn’t being a good or honest friend to you.
Kudos to everyone who finished this tale.
It must have been very upsetting to have rumours spread about you. I think it’s clear that C did mean to upset you. I think you probably know why – she was upset and jealous of your friendship with your out of state best friend and wanted you to feel upset too. This doesn’t excuse what she did at all. However, it would be a good idea to reflect on your behaviour too. Did you mainly focus on your out of state friend at Halloween? Did you include C? Did something else happen after you went back to school? It’s odd that she was acting normally and then stopped speaking to you. Try to see it from her point of view. Her reaction however isn’t acceptable. It is up to you as to whether you want to remain friends with her but I think you should have a conversation with her at least. NTA
NTA, but C doesn’t sound like she’s a very good friend.
The **PE teacher** spread a false rumor to your bf’s **mother?** That’s INSANE. Did your mom talk to the principal? That teacher needs to know her behavior was hugely inappropriate.
C sounds like a mean, immature teenager. Your boyfriend is misguided and I’d talk to him about his perception of this situation and how no one who means no harm ever spreads false rumors about somebody. But the PE teacher? Unbelievable.