My wife is Austrian and they love a communal sauna. She wants me to go with her and her sister.
It’s bad enough going with strangers! Which I have done in the past
As an uptight Brit (not to mention old fat and grey!) am in the asshole for having a problem with this???
NTA but count your blessings man. My guess is everyone there will be as old fat and gray as you.
IN the asshole? no no, you’re NOT THE asshole.
My dyslexia read that as “go for a naked *Santa*” and I was hella confused.
Also, NTA. Body autonomy FTW.
NAH. But you are missing out. Going to the sauna without a bathing suit is a 100 times more comfortable (and hygienic). It’s perfectly ok to not want it, you are not an AH for it. But neither is she for asking.
NAH, this might be normal to her but you’re really not obligated to do anything you aren’t comfortable doing in your personal life. I don’t really see the conflict here, unless you’re implying your wife is mad that you don’t wanna?
NTA.
Your body: your choice.
Yes, you are, but I’m a Finn so my answer is the only right one (kidding). Outside of Finnish borders abuse your sauna as you please.
I’m from Finland, going to sauna naked with your family (spouse, young children) is normal. When going to sauna with extended family is most often separated by sex.
Sauna etiquette varies country to country but one thing universal is that you should not do anything you are uncomfortable with.
I was about to say this! I go at home with my husband and our teens now prefer to go on their own. Nobody gets judged for it. Sauna should be a relaxing experience and that includes being comfortable with your bench mates.
I would not want to see any in-laws naked or anyone from my family at all. Strangers also no. If you’re uncomfortable with it then that’s ok. Your boundaries and comfort are personal and also very important.
NTA, Keeping boundaries is fine.
But maybe as a compromise:
Maybe you never have been to a sauna, so I’ll briefly explain it: you are not always and everywhere naked there. You wear a bathrobe or towel in the relaxing areas or the restaurant or bar. There are sleeping rooms and chill out rooms with sometimes even fireplaces where you sit, while wearing your bathrobe or towel. People read books or magazines, or just having their favorite drink.
So, if you are afraid, maybe you could go in but not into the actual sauna. Just wearing your bathrobe and enjoying the relaxing areas or the bar or restaurant.
Maybe in the future and only if you are comfortable you can try the actual sauna and enjoy sweating naked.
If not that is fine too.
NTA if you don’t feel comfortable. You are probably over thinking it though. Went to naked saunas in Germany and no one gives a monkeys. The most obvious person there was the American woman who kept her bikini bottoms on and walked around with hands over her boobs.
NAH. It’s fine for her to ask but it’s also fine for you to say no. If she keeps pestering you about it, then she’d be the AH.
NAH but saunas are full of old, fat, and grey people. No biggie.