Hey Reddit, first time posting something of this size. This happened around a month ago, I (28M) just recently joined the Navy and I’m in schooling now in Florida. My birthday was last month and being it was my first birthday away from home my Grandparents decided to stop by and celebrate with me. They live in Florida 8 hours away and have come up a few times before. Anyway my Grandfather in question was 75 at the time now 76 and is almost senile now. Forgets things constantly and all that. So we decided to go play mini golf and we only got to the 3rd hole before it all went to hell.
On the first hole I almost got a hole in 1, but just barely missed, this is important to the story. On hole 3 as my Grandfather was finishing up he hit his ball very short of the hole. However he just knelt down, picked it up and said “4”. Now I am a very competitive person regardless who it is. So I immediately said “But you missed? It didnt go in” he says back again in a stern voice “its 4!” He knows he missed but just doesnt care. My Grandmother then said just to mark it as 4 and I asked why? He missed. Hearing this my Grandfather starts storming off saying “Here we go” I then ask my Grandmother why should I count it as 4 and she said back just to do and not start a fight and just move on. I ask so since I barely missed my hole in 1 should I count it as a 1? She then has the audacity to say, “No, because it didn’t actually go in”
I was furious, now I don’t really care about the score at this point I just hate how she’s taking his side being the baby he is about it all and is just expecting me to accept whatever he says happens. This kind of thing has happened way too many times in the past. So this was my breaking point. They turn around to keep playing thinking I was done however I turn around to start walking away. I get back to the entrance and just sit down for around 30 minutes, no call, nothing. I give back my club and ball and walk down the street away. I then go to a few bars have a few drinks and uber home meanwhile I get texts asking where I am and to “not do this” I only send a link to my uber back to base and saying I’m leaving. The next day I don’t answer any text or calls.
My Grandmother texts me they are going home and are in disbelief I would do this to them but I’m just tired of it all. Cut to today Dec 16th its the day after my Grandfathers birthday and he texts me “what did I do to make you forget my birthday?” All this time, my grandmother kept asking me to “make this right” and expecting me to apologize for ruining the trip. Now I don’t want to keep this going and I don’t want to cause issues in the family but I just cant let this go after all this time. It really feels like nobody is on my side when it comes to anything and this was just what let my built up anger free. Theres way more little details to all of this that questions you might ask but it’s a lot to fit in this post. So AITA?
YTA – *Now I am a very competitive person regardless who it is*
Sometimes it’s just about the experience and not the score. I would work on that.
YTA for being such a big baby, throwing a tantrum over nothing, and being so inconsiderate of your grandfather’s frailty. If nobody is on your side, you might take a moment to ask yourself why that might be.
God please grow up. This is not the behavior of an adult. YTA.
YTA – it’s fucking mini golf my guy.
So you decided it was important to dick flex during mini golf with your elderly senile granddad?
Seriously, YTA
They drove 8 hours to see you? And you are still fighting over this? YTA.
YTA
Jesus wept… how old are you?
It’s your grandfather who’s in his last years and you can’t just roll with it at mini golf?
How could you possibly not be TA??
YTA – they drove 8 hours to come see you and you throw a fit over one point in mini golf?!
YTA
People experiencing dementia also have trouble regulating their emotions. Their brains DO NOT WORK CORRECTLY any longer.
Your grandparents traveled 8 hours to see you. Rather than spending a fun day with them, and accepting that your grandfather is not in a place to play “for real” you picked a fight over a score in mini golf, then stormed off and kept up your tantrum for months?
Maybe there are other issues in your family, but this is not the way to deal with them. WTF? The military provides counselors. I hope you take advantage to learn more effective ways to manage your feelings.
Seriously. If you are always this competitive with your future spouse or children you will not have a happy home life.
Bro you’re a whole ass adult and you can’t stand *your elderly grandfather taking an extra point in mini golf?* Of course YTA.
If you feel some immense need to disobey in the face of hypocrisy, unfairness, and lying, save that energy for the war crimes you’re about to be asked to commit in Venezuela ✌️
You’re 28 and threw a tantrum because your senile grandpa wanted an extra stroke taken off? So you want everything to be fair or do you want to enjoy the time with your grandparents while you can. Check your attitude, if this is how you deal with the smallest conflict I wouldn’t trust you in the navy. Have some decency
yta this is an insane hill to die on
YTA. Sometimes the rule with both the very old and the very young is to go with the flow. There were no stakes here, you weren’t playing for anything but the joy of spending time together.
It is extremely evident to anyone reading that story a “birdie” after nearly a hole in one is significantly different in effect from a bogey. You say you had only made it three holes: was Grandpa already struggling, had he hit over a whole bunch and was frustrated, how many “over” was he overall? I’d also guess that you spend a lot of time focusing on the “letter” of the law rather than the spirit of it given that your grandfather’s immediate response was “here we go”.
Look I get it, I have a competitive family, and high needs kids. I’ve been in exactly the same situation… Playing mini golf, someone is doing really well, someone else is frustrated as hell for whatever reason, and at least one person doesn’t even want to be there.
To quote Bluey (and a mom much smarter than I can ever hope to be): Do you want to be right? Or do you want Bingo to play with you?