Disclaimer: English is not our first language so AI has been used to format this post. Also, we’re not in the US but we’ve written the prices in USD for clarity.
**POST**
My partner and I are currently in the middle of a very difficult situation and could really use some outside perspective.
We’ve been looking for a house for a long time. In the area we’re focusing on, move-in-ready family homes that meet our requirements usually sell for $430,000 USD or more. That’s been the general price level.
Recently, a real estate agent contacted us directly about a house that wasn’t publicly listed yet. We were given the opportunity to buy it off-market, and it honestly felt like a once-in-a-long-while opportunity. The house checks every box: great location, no renovations needed, nothing urgent to fix. The price is around $340,000 USD, which we consider a very good deal compared to everything else we’ve seen. We can easily picture our future there.
Earlier this year, a close family member and their partner bought a house in the same general area. At the time, they described it as a vacation home and paid roughly $215,000 USD. It’s a renovation project, and they’ve just started working on it.
The house we’re considering is not next door to theirs. The homes are on parallel streets, about 200 meters apart, and you can’t see one house from the other.
Before moving forward, we did what we thought was the respectful thing. We told them about the house and asked directly if they were okay with us living that close. They said yes.
After that reassurance, we continued the process and reached an agreement with the seller on price. At this point, we’re emotionally invested and fully expecting to move forward.
A few days later, they contact us again and say they no longer want us to buy the house. They explain that they’re afraid living that close could harm the relationship, based on bad experiences they’ve had with other family members living very close together in a completely different situation.
Instead of discussing boundaries or concerns, they give us a clear ultimatum: if we buy the house, they will sell theirs and move.
During this same conversation, it also becomes clear that they are likely planning to use their house as a permanent residence in the future, not just as a vacation home as originally described.
This leaves us in an impossible position. No matter what we choose, someone gets hurt. Either we give up a house that means a lot to us and makes sense financially, or we become directly responsible for forcing close family members to uproot their lives.
Right now, we’re seriously considering backing out of the purchase. We don’t want to build our future on top of a family conflict, but walking away would mean giving up a rare opportunity that aligns perfectly with our long-term plans.
**Would we be stupid to walk away from something this important because of a family ultimatum or WIBTA if we don’t back out?**