Hello, as the title says, I (M27) enjoy looking up spoilers (mostly things my gf (F29) has already seen though). For me if helps me find the little clues that directors leave in to point at things. I enjoy trying to guess what will happen and then looking up and finding out if I am right or wrong while watchin. I DO NOT SPOIL THINGS FOR OTHER PEOPLE. I keep it to myself and let them enjoy the movie or show by themselves.
My gf despises that I do this. To the point that she will actually get mad at me for looking stuff up and rips my phone out of my hands and will keep it from me. I have expressed politely that I enjoy experiencing media this way and that I wont spoil anything for her, but she does not see how it can be enjoyable. I might be the asshole because she feels I am no longer watching it WITH her/ruining big twists/she wants to see my reaction since I already know how it ends So AITA?
edit: Typo and clarifying statement
edit x2: She is on her phone often if its something she has seen before playing games, mutually new stuff I limit looking up stuff, but occasionally I cant help it
NTA but I’m a little biased cause I do this too. But if it’s distracting to your GF maybe try to avoid doing it when you’re watching movies together.
NAH. You just enjoy things differently.
I can only make assumptions about her reasoning since I don’t know if you asked her, but I will assume she wants to experience things with you. Like, finding out the “truth” about what happens in the movie with you together. Or something like that, I am not good at explaining. It’s a type of quality time. For me, watching something new with someone is a whole different experience than watching something that the other person or I, already watched / know what happens. I assume for her it ruins the quality/shared aspect of the movie that she wants with a person she loves. Perhaps she doesn’t want to enjoy the movie by herself, but WITH you.
I suggest you just compromise. Watch a movie blind with her, the next movie you look up again. The blind again, switch it up so you both get your “unique enjoyment” every now and then, a relationship is a two-ways-street.
Now if you know the reason she dislikes it and it’s something entirely different, feel free to add, I might be wrong.
THIS I totally agree with. NAH.
I have ADHD too and prefer to spoil myself, but it does mean that I miss out on the knee-jerk emotional reaction of seeing a twist because I’m already bracing for it. I could understand why that would frustrate a partner who sees movie watching as a shared experience. I think they should compromise more here.
NTA. I do this too. I have ADHD and anxiety and actually find it very hard to sit through a film if I don’t know what’s going to happen, especially if it’s thrillery. And once I’ve done that and I know what is coming, I can actually enjoy it, genuinely – it doesn’t ruin it for me at all. I can resist sometimes if I am going to the cinema and I want the full cinema experience, but if I’m just watching at home, nah, I’ll spoil it for myself. But importantly, I DO NOT SPOIL IT FOR WHOEVER I AM SITTING WITH. My husband thinks it’s a mad quirk of mine, and he got annoyed about it once, but now he’s used to it – and as long as I don’t spoil it for him, it doesn’t bother him too much.
THIS!!! I also have ADHD
Yeah, it’s an ADHD thing 🙂 in my experience, our brains are so “fidgety” that the uncertainty of an unknown movie or TV plot makes them even more so. Once I know what’s going to happen, my brain calms down and I can actually focus on the story and the characters and appreciate its artistic merits etc. That’s why I really like rewatching things, or watching adaptations of books I’ve already read etc. Maybe try explaining it to your girlfriend that way?
NTA. USC did a study in 2016 that generally pointed to more enjoyment when things were ‘spoiled.’ Personally it’s swing or miss for me but I’ve never been vehemently against it.[link to study](https://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/spoiler-alert-spoilers-make-you-enjoy-stories-more)
NTA. If that’s how you enjoy consuming media then there’s nothing wrong with that. The issue is that your girlfriend doesn’t respect your preference. It’s time to set some boundaries.
NTA I feel like it is more common than not. I want to know when a particular antagonist gets his just desserts!
NAH you guys just like to watch things differently
But if you like trying to guess what will happen doesn’t looking things up part way through risk spoiling the answer before you’ve even been given all the clues the writers intended for you to have? you could record your guesses as you watch if you want to see how early in the movie you were able to guess the correct answer.
For me at least, when I want to watch something I’ve seen with someone who hasn’t seen it, it’s usually because I want to see their reactions / guesses. So if your girlfriend is the same way I can understand why she’d be upset.
NTA
I’m the same way, I enjoy hearing the spoiler and going “WOW! How’d they get to *that!?*” and then looking for all the little clues and making my guesses. I keep it to myself cause my husband is big on the “no spoilers!” train.
Your gf needs to stop snatching your phone tho, that’s uncalled for.
NAH.
“I keep it to myself and let them enjoy the movie or show by themselves.”
Keywords BY THEMSELVES. If your gf sees watching movies together as a shared experience, I understand why this behavior frustrates her. Now, it’s rude of her to rip your phone away, but it’s also rude of you to be on your phone during the movie in the first place.
I feel like this is an easy compromise. I also prefer spoiling myself for anxiety purposes, but it’s not the end of the world to cold watch a few movies every once in a while. There are some genres in particular that I have learned to actually enjoy cold watching more. For whatever reason, horror movies reset my desire to spoil because being anxious/scared is a normal and even enjoyable part of the experience.
NTA. It’s harmless and she needs to come to terms with the fact that people are allowed to enjoy things differently.
NTA.
I have ADHD and anxiety and I have to look up plots or m
I can’t enjoy a movie.