I’m 32F in a small, long running book club with about 10 people who’ve been friends for years. We meet monthly at different homes, discuss books, and it’s always been low key and supportive. My ex 34M and I broke up amicably about 18 months ago after five years together no drama, just grew apart. We still share mutual friends, and that’s fine.
of those friends started dating someone new "Alex," (35M) six months ago. Alex is nice enough, but he’s not in the book club and has never read the books we choose. Last month, the host invited him as a guest because he seemed interested. He came, but spent most of the time on his phone, interrupting to make unrelated jokes, and admitted he hadn’t read the book at all. It threw off the whole discussion, and a few people were frustrated but didn’t say anything.
This month, another member hosted and invited Alex again since he had fun last time. Same thing: no prep, constant tangents, and he even started a side conversation about sports during the serious part. I pulled the host aside after and said politely that I didn’t think it was fair to the group to keep inviting someone who doesn’t engage with the material,it changes the vibe we’ve built over years. She said it was just one more person and that excluding him would be rude to her boyfriend (who’s also in the club).
I said if Alex keeps coming, I’ll have to skip meetings because I joined for the book talk, not casual hangouts. Now the group chat is blowing up with some saying I’m being gatekeepy and unwelcoming, while others agree it’s not the same anymore. Alex’s partner texted me saying I’m making things awkward and should be more open-minded. I feel like I’m trying to protect something meaningful to me, but I hate that people think I’m the problem.
AITA?
If Alex doesn’t want to read the book and talk about the book he shouldn’t come to Book Club. That’s why it’s called Book Club.
NTA.
If Alex’s partner keeps pushing on this then invite the people who want to read the book to meet at a different time and place for Book Club and let the others have Alex time club. Life is too short to allow someone to show up and ruin a perfectly good book club.
Downvoted because your title is misleading. Alex isn’t your ex’s new partner
I was so confused reading this with that title lol
Yeh I’m going back and forth between the post and the comments trying to figure out even just genders and stuff and I’m just completely lost what this has to do with their ex or if they’re just bitching about some extra at a book club.