i am 28F with a 30M partner. we have been together on and off for 5 years, 2 years on & living together.
we like to watch movies together & picked a newer war movie to watch. it had an all male cast. i hadn’t spoken much during the movie because it irritates him when i make little comments.
this time, a comment slipped out. i said, “his mustache looks funny.” my partner went silent & moved away from me. i was confused. he said to me, “why did you say that? don’t you know that would hurt me feelings?”
i was genuinely confused because i wasn’t making the comment about HIM. i was referencing the actor because we have seen said actor in numerous movies without facial hair. i tried to explain my side. he shut me down and said that how he will always think that I THINK he has a weird mustache. he has made comments before about me saying something that he took personally when it wasn’t about him, and how he cannot unthink it
so guys & gentlemen, please tell me your perspective. AITA? was my comment insensitive? did i go to far with my thoughtless comment?
we haven’t spoken about it since, and i am working hard to keep my commentary down while watching movies with him.
So far what I know about your BF: 1) he is very thin-skinned; 2) he has a stupid-looking moustache.
1 is def true. 2 i have never said a mean thing to him about his appearance & idk why he came at me so hard for a dumb comment about someone else who we don’t even know :/
Sounds like he was looking for a reason to be mad at you.
NTA. What the heck is wrong with your boyfriend? How did he make that about him. Stop apologizing and call him out for his ridiculous and illogical leap.
That’s a little self absorbed. If he takes everything as related to him, I would see it as a red flag
He would hate watching movies with me, lol.
Edit: to add NTA
nta and not even close
your bf sounds like its a habit that he makes everything about him and thats not an attractive trait
NTA. I can’t tell if your boyfriend is overly sensitive or just narcissistic. Cause why in the world would he assume that you’re talking about him??? Especially when you said “he has a weird mustache” and not “you have a weird mustache”. To top it off with it being a common thing lol. This kinda also seems like a red flag to me.
NTA.
Off again seems like a great solution here. If this is what your entire future looks like, run.
NTA. If this is how he is (and why you were on and off) maybe it’s time for a new boyfriend.
He sounds like he needs therapy and not a relationship.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life walking on eggshells?
NTA. Find yourself someone who is comfortable in their own skin.