I borrowed my friend’s badminton racket for school activity. When I was about to return it, she said i should keep it for now, so I hid it in my room so i wouldn’t lose it. After a few months later, i tried to find the racket but i couldn’t find it, so i asked my mom if she had seen it. She said she threw it away because it didn’t have a matching pair. I was like, wtf?? Why would she throw it away?? So I got really upset and of course, she got mad at me too. She said it was "just a racket" and that she would replace it with a new one. But that’s not the point, how am i supposed to return it to my friend. I couldn’t just say, "sorry, my mom accidentally threw away your badminton racket, I’ll just replace it with a new one". Like, that’s so embarrassing. Now she’s blaming me for the whole situation, and I’m wondering if I’m wrong for being mad.
Be “embarrassed” and tell your friend the truth and offer to replace it. YWBTA if you let this fear of “embarrassment” paralyze your better judgment.
“Embarrass” is in quotes because only you see it that way. Your friend won’t, your mom doesn’t. It was an accident.
I agree, i should be honest and replace it. My frustration isn’t just about embarrassment, it’s also because my mom is blaming me for the situation even though she threw it away without asking, and this isn’t the first time she’s thrown out things that were important to me. That’s why I reacted emotionally.
She should receive consequences for victimizing you calling her out for victimizing you.
Mom throwing the racket away wasn’t an accident, it was deliberate.
NTA, obviously. yes you can say exactly that. Dont overthink it. Your mom will replace it, getting angry will just deteriorate the situation.
>I couldn’t just say, “sorry, my mom accidentally threw away your badminton racket, I’ll just replace it with a new one”. Like, that’s so embarrassing
Yeah, but that’s what you’re left with. Unless you plan to just start pointlessly lying about it.
Nah i can’t lie to her so I’m planning to replace it with a new one. :))
Your mom is going to pay for it, right?
Yup
NTA. Controlling mom. Goes through your room to find stuff. Throws away random things. Blames you. Standard controlling mom routine.
NTA. And the truth is exactly what you’re going to say. It’s the easiest to remember and if you not only lose the racket, but then lie on top of it and your friend finds our it will probably end your friendship.
NTA my mum used to throw away my things too.
I never figured out a way to get her to stop so I can’t give you advice but I wanted to share that as an adult, my mum apologized to me for her mistakes and now we are besties and have a great relationship.
I hope that your mum will also eventually come to her senses and realize that it is not kind or respectful to just throw away your things. 🫂 I’m sorry OP.
Your friend will understand though, please talk to her and tell her the truth.
Your mother needs to contact your friend’s parents and arrange to replace the racket. NTA but you can only tell the truth and let your friend and her parents deal with your mother about this.