AITA for asking for my car back after selling it cheaply to help family?
I sold my old car to my partner’s father at a very reduced price to help him out financially.
The car was mine (it was a gift from my mum). I was originally going to trade it in for much more, but when my partner’s dad asked to buy it, we agreed and dropped the price significantly so it would be affordable. We also agreed he could pay in instalments.
That was 6 months ago.
So far, he’s only paid about a third of what he owes and keeps saying he has no money. He promised the remaining amount would be paid by a specific date, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.
I later found out that while he says he has no money, he is still spending on non-essential and unhealthy habits, which makes this feel unfair.
At this point, I feel taken advantage of. I tried to help, but the agreement isn’t being honoured and I’m the one losing out.
I’m now considering asking for the car back if he can’t finish paying what he agreed to, even though I feel guilty because he’s family.
AITA for wanting the car returned if he doesn’t pay?
NTA- You did not sell the vehicle as he did not give you money to purchase it with. Promises are not payment, that’s why he has to take advantage of you because he’s already burned all the professional Bridges. He has to scald all the people he knows. Now that you’ve seen under the hood, make sure that this is really the type of family that you want to marry into. Because I would be rethinking my whole lifetime of choices that led me into this position if I was you.
forgot to include that the car was transferred into his name purely so he could do the NCT and road tax, as he couldn’t do those while it was still in my name.
NTA. He agreed to pay, but failed. He’s the AH for not paying after getting a good deal. What kind of discount did he get, btw?
If he needs help, your partner can send him (your) cash.
Car was supposed to traded for €7k, he bought it for €1,500 he only paid €500 so far. He promised that he will be paying what is due in full next month as my family is going away on a holiday.
So… you’re okay with just gifting him €5500 (which I think is extremely generous of you) but him not paying back a €1000 loan in time crosses the line. I get why it feels wrong but you also have to consider that a late 500 or 1000 payment is a minor inconvenience vs the 5.5k gift. Def NTA still, but maybe you should sit down and think about this
You should think whether the late payment is worth the mental strain and troubled relationship.
Maybe just forfeit the €1k and ask him to pay you whatever the car sells for if he ever sells it?
If he doesn’t fulfill the agreement, you don’t have to keep honoring your end of it. NTA
NTA OP, but if you’ve already transferred it to his name, doubt that you’re getting it back. That’s called paying a stupid tax, but you can learn a lot from it and avoid doing it for a larger amount. You can also learn a lot from his behavior as well as from your partner’s reaction to it, to see how things will look for you going forward if you stay in the family
Yes you are.
Why
NTA. But just know that when you ask for the car back it will likely create some resentment towards you from your partner even if it is discussed and agreed to prior to the request. It will likely create divisive issues between you and the rest of the family if your partners father is liked by any of them. One way to offset any resentment, if you are successful in retrieving the vehicle, is to prorate some sort of refund to Dad a portion of what he did pay based on condition of car, any potential loss in selling or trading in. If you are able to sell/trade in the car for what the original potential was then refund a large percentage of what he did pay. It will help with family harmony down the line, you will not be out too much from the bad experience and in all future dealings with family they will understand if you demand cash up front on any business dealings (which you should avoid)
There’s already resentment that started yesterday when I didn’t lend money to the eldest brother, and the dad got mad. That is why I’m already thinking to cut all ties with my partner’s family as they’re bleeding as dry.
You’re being taken advantage of.
Your partner needs to back you up to get it resolved
Otherwise, yes ask for it back, and agree a fair price for it’s usage over the last 6 months.
If that’s less than what he’s paid you, give him some money back, and then you can’t possibly be considered anything other than reasonable!