I, (25) NB , am in a house with 6 other roommates. My roomate in room 4 is a older guy prob in his 40s. He was in the kitchen had basically every surface of the kitchen covered but one part of the counter top on the opposite side of the stove. I wanted to put my sandwich into the toaster oven. He had trash and other items near the toster oven. I moved an empty tortilla bag slightly over and opened the toster oven and put my sandwich in. He then started yelling at me at how I " disrespected him " and not to touch his stuff. And how it was about respect. I said to him it’s a shared space I am allowed to put a sandwich in the oven. He proceeded to curse and threaten me. My other roommate thinks im wrong saying that your suppose to not cook when someone else is in the kitchen. I’ve never in my time living with others have heard this. I believe we should be able to coexist and be able to use a shared space. Idk maybe I’m wrong. So am I the asshole ?
NTA.
As you said, it’s a shared space. It also seems like your RM was not using the toaster oven at the time, so your actions should not have inconvenienced him.
The object you moved was an empty bag that was not in use, so again it would not inconvenience him.
My conclusion is that you were not being disrespectful to him by using a device he was not using and moving something he was not actively using. One person using the kitchen does not mean the entire kitchen and everything in it is off limits to anyone else. If it really was a problem, the adult thing for your RM to do would be to address it in a calm and rational manner, not immediately begin yelling as you say he did.
Thank you , idk if it’s a prison thing or something idk but if two guys are saying it idk maybe it’s a culture thing.
NTA. You’re allowed to use your own kitchen. No reason two people can’t be in there at the same time.
Thank you appreciate you taking the time :3
NTA. With 7 people sharing one kitchen, you’re going to have to use it at the same time as someone else quite a bit. Theres nothing wrong with heating a sandwich and moving a piece of trash while your roommate hogs the kitchen. He sounds unhinged.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. :3
NTA How tf is anyone supposed to use the kitchen alone when 6 people live there? That’s an unreasonable request.
NTA, moving an empty chip bag does not count as “disrespecting someone’s stuff” and there is no such rule as “you can’t cook while someone else is in the kitchen.” Your two housemates are just completely out to lunch, plus obviously the yelling and cursing would be a bad look even if the guy was right.
So if someone is making a meal that takes 6 hours to make, no one else can use the kitchen at that time? NTA.
I’m wondering if this has more to do with you being NB than using the kitchen
Mmm I don’t think so I don’t think he knows I’m LGBT I haven’t made that public to my roommates so.
That roommate is an AH and theater a pushover who wants peace. Just be an AH so other roommate puts pressure on AH to not cause waves.