Basically my friends and I had set a date a month and a half in advance to celebrate Christmas together (please note that these dates are usually confirmed very loosely and they are not the type of people to properly confirm plans until a week prior).
One of my friends, A, had previously bailed on dinner plans as she double scheduled and wanted to hang out with her other friend more and we had to all reschedule based on her availability.
Now the situation is that a week prior as per usual friend, P, messaged the chat and confirmed the xmas plans and I told them that I double scheduled and my closer group of friends decided to do an activity together on the same day but there was no need to reschedule according to me.
Their plans still went ahead but I wanted to know if it was an A-hole move to cancel my attendance a week prior given we confirmed the date nearly two months ahead of time.
Depends on why you double scheduled. If it was to attend a funeral or a wedding or something where you don’t have a choice to reschedule the main event, then NTA. If it was another friend group get together that was booked after the first one, then YTA.
YTA. You basically chose friends you like more.
Bruh. You told your closer group of friends that it’s okay to meet up on the same day you have tentative plans on and not reschedule.
Yeah YTA if you choose to bail.
This is completely on you. You double booked yourself on purpose. Not accidentally.
the xmas plans were truly tentative though, when I organised dinner plans a few months ago we had set the date a month in advance and when I messaged, P said she forgot about it. They’re all type B personalities and we all reschedule for A whereas I didn’t even request to reschedule as I know it’d make it difficult to align a time for everyone
So it was ok for A to do it to the group but not you?
Maybe you should all go your separate ways and end the drama.
ESH
“Double scheduled” is a really nice way of saying “I made plans with friends, but then something better came along so I did that instead”. I don’t understand how you think this could be anything except you being an asshole. YTA.
You told your originally scheduled friends that better friends made plans that you wanted to do instead of hanging out with them. Of course YTA.
Two wrongs don’t make a right which is I think what you were trying to argue… that since P did it, you weren’t rude to do the same thing.
YTA. You set a date two months ago. When your other friends suggested the same date, you should have firmed up with the first group then so you could find another date for the second group.
INFO: did the plans for the group that you did not go with involve any sort of reservations or monetary commitment (i.e. purchasing of food/drinks in advance)? or was it just casually meeting up somewhere together like a bar or something?
No reservations or monetary commitments involved, it was simply hanging at their place and bringing our own food to share
YTA