I (40F) often frequent a lovely little coffee place in my neighborhood, together with my little dog Pepper (the place is very dog-friendly). Because I’m there so regularly, the staff knows me and Pepper, and sometimes we have friendly chats. Pepper is older and calm, and usually just lies by my feet and sleeps.
Today I came there with Pepper, and there was another lady with a little dachshund. When the dachshund saw Pepper, he LOST IT. Started barking his head off, very loudly.
Pepper ignored it as he always does, and we sat down at a table as far away as possible. However since the cafe is very small we were still in the dachshund’s line of sight, and he wouldn’t stop barking despite the lady’s attempts to calm him down.
Other patrons started complaining, and she said I should leave to restore the quiet. I told her, if anything she should leave, because it’s her dog that is causing the drama. She involved the staff, who looked at me, and then asked her to leave.
She left but told me that I’m having her kicked out by playing the "favorites card" with the staff who knows me and not her, and it’s really unfair because according to her, she was there first and everything was fine before I came.
What does Reddit think? Should I have left because she was there first? AITA?
ETA: PLEASE STOP TELLING ME I’M A TA FOR BRINGING MY DOG TO A FOOD ESTABLISHMENT. This is explicitly a dog friendly cafe. It’s advertised as such on their website, on the entrance door, and they even have little water bowls and homemade dog treats. Also I’m in Europe where it’s very common to bring pets to public places.
NTA…her dog was the problem. If her animal training is as bad as her logic, it should come as no surprise.
I hate when people know their dog is reactive and they take them to public places anyway.
In a situation like this, the loud dog should leave. NTA
NTA. It was her dog kicking off, not yours. Why should Pepper be responsible for Hot Dog’s lack of control?
NTA – not because of favorites or anything – but if your dog was the one barking I would say you should leave, but it was not yours. The other person could have trained their dog better.
Her dog caused the noise, your dog didn’t. NTA
NTA, I have a dog that sometimes struggles with situations like that. If she causes a fuss over another dog, it’s my problem, not the other dog’s owner… Don’t bring your dog to a dog friendly cafe if your dog can’t handle the potential situation of another dog being there…
NTA – her dogs lack of training isn’t an issue on your end
I actually think this is not an easy question. It does matter that the lady was already established in the cafe, maybe had a food order in, etc. But I’m going to go with NTA on the principle that a dog that cannot be made to shut up in the presence of other dogs, is a dog that should not be taken to cafes. And let’s be honest, it seems really unlikely that this was the first time that dog had ever behaved that way.
EDIT: reading some responses and other comments, I’ve decided the answer was more clear-cut and obvious than I initially thought. But hey, at least I got it right on the first try even though I wasn’t sure 😀
NTA obviously the person with the dog they can’t control is the one who has to leave.
NTA. Your dog is well-behaved; her dog isn’t. Ergo, her dog is the problem, and it needs to leave.
NTA. Doggy etiquette involves ejecting the shit stirrer. AKA if my dog is TA…we leave. As the owner of a rescue I always follow this protocol knowing I have a reactive dog. She’s really good in public now but it took a while before that happened.
Nta- yeah, she was there first, but it wasn’t your dog creating the problem, it was hers. Who’s to say another dog wouldn’t have come in even if you had left and the whole thing started over again? People need to be able to control their dogs and if they can’t, should remove them from the situation
NTA – maybe they should change the rules to be a “friendly dog café” instead?