This happened a while back, but the event resurfaced in a recent conversation.
My friend and I used to be in a relationship but are just good friends now. When we were together, I had a key to his place. Sometimes I’d stay over late and leave around 2 am to sleep at my place. One day, at around 2 am, I thought it’d be funny to take his Costco haul he’d gotten that day. I’d take it home, he’d wake up to find his fridge almost empty, he’d know it was me and call me, and I’d bring it back and restock everything. I live ten minutes away, so even if he was hungry, I figured I’d be back quick enough with his food. It was a harmless prank, or so I thought. I thought it was funny imagining him opening up his fridge in the morning, confused to find just his usual eggs and milk and not his recently purchased pounds of meats and cheeses.
He called me around 7 am fuming.
Him: "You disrespected the trust I have in giving you keys to my place. It’s breaking a boundary. Your prank wasn’t funny – you stole my food. That’s my food, and I paid $200 for it. Your prank makes me look stupid. It makes me the butt of the joke. It’s disrespectful."
Me: "I didn’t steal your food. I was going to bring it back and restock everything once you realized. I thought it was a harmless prank because you literally don’t get hurt in any way."
Him: "I know you weren’t going to actually keep any of my food. I know you were going to come back and restock my fridge. My point still stands."
So I came back with his food and restocked everything, as promised. I apologized for hurting him in any way, but I honestly didn’t understand why he overreacted. I still don’t. It’s been about a year since that happened. We’re good friends now. We talked on the phone the other day, and the prank came up, and I laughed at how stupid it all was. He instantly got serious and repeated again that it’s not funny at all, it’s really disrespectful, etc. It kind of ruined the tone of the conversation. Is he overreacting and being too sensitive, or am I just not understanding? AITA for "stealing" his groceries as a prank?
It’s not about the groceries. It’s about how you made him feel when he thought you’d broken his trust when he gave you keys to his home and let you stay there. It may not have been a real betrayal but the feelings were real. Also, weird prank to empty someone’s fridge and then just leave.
I fear you do not know what a prank is supposed to be.
A prank would have been wrapping all of his groceries in bubble wrap or tin foil.
Or adding googly eyes to the milk and anything else that might make a funny face.
If you wouldn’t laugh at the prank if it targeted you, it’s not fucking funny and you’re an asshole. You are lucky he still talks to you. Drop the joke excuse, apologize for real, and maybe you can save your friendship but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
YTA you don’t mess with people’s food
Did he have any food insecurity growing up? Like a low income family that you may or may not know about?
This could be very painful for some people who value getting their own food.
Either way, it’s not a common/normal or good prank. Stealing any other thing from his home that cost $200 as a prank and then returning it would have been wrong too.
YTA. he’s right, that shit was disrespectful.
Out of curiosity why is he either overreacting (unable to control his emotions) or too sensitive?
Sounds like you have a lot of mental and emotional growing to do!
Yta just in case you hadn’t figured it out yet.
YTA. I would be upset if someone used my spare key to do this. You did violate his trust and the fact you can’t comprehend that is confusing to me.
You do understand, in most countries you could be charged with a crime as you took his items without his consent. Typically, my rule is if you can go to jail for it, it’s not funny.
YTA I personally wouldn’t find it funny for someone to be going through my things in my place without permission. It would feel really uncomfortable, and like a breach of privacy
YTA. Considering another reaction of his that would be considered normal is calling the police because he’s been robbed, I’d count myself lucky.
Also, from what you’ve said about your apology, the only thing you apologised for was that he didn’t find it funny, not that you regret your actions, just his reaction to it. This is what we call in the biz a “non-apology”, or, i feel what i did is fine, but I’m being forced to apologise.
YTA
Calling something a prank doesn’t make it a prank. It’s not funny and the fact you think he’s overreacting or too sensitive speaks volumes about you.
YTA, you’re the only one that finds it funny. If anything it’s annoying as f. Don’t take stuff from your friends’ places, even if you think it’s a funny prank. By doing this your violating the trust they have that you won’t take their stuff.
YTA because he was not laughing