I (f29) and husband (m30) were celebrating NY with friends at a location about an hour drive from home. At one point I sat down and noticed husbands wallet on the couch. I picked it up and put it in my purse for safekeeping. When he returned I told him "I put your wallet in my purse to keep it safe". He said thank you.
When we returned yesterday I forgot to return the wallet and he forgot to ask me for it. Today, he apparently had an appointment he didnt mention to me. I was at a neighbours house, which I did tell him about. I didnt bring my phone. My purse was at home with his wallet, in broad view on the dining table. He called me a few times, looked, couldn’t find his wallet and then had to drive to his appointment without wallet.
He’s mad at me because I didn’t return it, I think I was doing him a favour making sure it didn’t get lost, and I think he had many more chances than me to get it back. I also think he is responsible for his things and should have asked for it back.
AITA?
NTA although I don’t understand why you didn’t just hand him back his wallet at the time instead of putting it in your purse, you both participated in this and he’s just mad and wants someone to take it out on. Ultimately it’s his wallet and you told him you had it so it’s his responsibility to get it back.
I thought it would fall out of his pocket again vs my purse is zipped closed
Makes sense, but I like to carry my own wallet, I never ask my wife to put it in her purse for exactly this reason. Because if this happens I’m the one who doesn’t have my wallet! But he could have asked you for it back ultimately it’s on him.
Stop infantilising him!
NTA, his wallet is his responsibility. You may have enabled him a little by putting the wallet in your purse instead of handing it directly to him, but you clearly communicated where it was. He chose not to ask for it at that time, and clearly was unbothered to think about its whereabouts until the next day. That’s on him. Next time something similar happens, just alert him to where you see the wallet and leave it to him to retrieve and keep safe himself.
NTA, it’s his wallet. It’s a simple slip of the mind and you shouldn’t be blamed.
NTA. Sounds looks weaponised incompetence. His wallet was right there at home, just a few feet from him. But he was incapable of looking for it. Now he’s blaming you for his laziness. How many other red flags is he waving in your face?
ETA: he KNEW his wallet had been in your purse the night before, therefore that would’ve been the first logical place to look. He KNEW you were next door, so he could’ve walked over to ask you, or called the neighbours when you didn’t answer. Yet somehow he feels he can blame you for him being unable to do these simple things. Total weaponised incompetence with a heaping side of gaslighting
He would have hated it worse if you hadn’t rescued it. All that work to replace stuff if it hadn’t been found. He owes you NTA PS – I can see most of us forgetting this interaction and doing the same thing!
NTA next time leave it on the couch. Your husband seems to lack any accountability. It was his responsibility to secure his wallet.
He’s blaming you for his mistake. You informed him, he could have asked for it back at any time and he could have also you know taken it out of the purse the next day.
Come on. You KNOW you are NTA.
Every bit of this is his responsibility and his fault.