Hello!
I’m 17 and recently bought myself a 17 Pro with a phone plan that I fully pay for. Since I just got it, I was showing off some of the features to my mom because she was thinking of upgrading as well. Randomly, she asked, “What’s your passcode?” I panicked and gave a fake one. I have nothing to hide, but I feel that since I pay for my phone, it’s my property and I’m entitled to privacy. AITA for doing that?
EXTRA CONTEXT: My mom has had a past history of snooping, I have done nothing in the past to lose trust with her in anyway.
INFO: How did you get your own phone contract as a minor?
In the UK we have three options of sims as such: Pay as you go, monthly “bundles” which is usually pay as you go but your convert your credit into a monthly text, call and data package or you can just pay a set monthly amount via card or bank for the same almost like a contract but no credit etc needed or the full contract for x years or a monthly rolling which is more similar to the bundles from pay as you go. Cheapest will always be a multi year contract the goes up in price from there!
NTA, although your mom may have your safety in mind more than snooping .. tread lightly on this one (parent of three)
If she had safety in mind, she’d use her words instead of being deceptive.
NTA – You pay for it, not her, it’s none of her business. There’s no logical reason, besides her wanting to snoop, that someone would need your passcode. Give it to no one or make it where your thumb is required to unlock it. I say this as a mom of a 19 year old. She’s had an iPhone for years and I’ve never invaded her privacy … she has also never given me a reason to not fully trust her.
NTA there’s no reason she should go through your phone that you paid for and provide the phone service for!?
NTA be aware that she might want the passcode to install one of those parental spy apps which you cannot remove without her permission which effectively ruins the phone. Do not give her the password unless you are prepared to lose your privacy and/or use of the phone because she would be able to block you out of using it and there would be nothing you can do other than buy a new phone.
Going with NAH. Yes, you do pay for it but she’s still the parent. It’s a concern of safety or emergencies. My sisters and ex-husband knew my passcode as a just in case of emergency situation. Never have they gone through my phone
Why should a fake passcode matter unless she tries going into it without your permission?
This way you’ll also know if she tries behind your back because it will tell you how many attempts you have left.
Not knowing your history with your mom and your decision making, it’s hard to answer. She may be needing to let go of control a bit, but you’re still a minor. She can be held responsible for choices you make, depending on what it is. She may just be trying to make sure you don’t do anything stupid (sending or receiving inappropriate images or messages, which is illegal at your age, drugs, drinking, any other illegal activity, useless drama that she could help you avoid, etc). She also may be overstepping.
How did you get a contract at 17?
NTA. My parents have never demanded my passcode. You’re entitled to privacy, looking through your phone is like looking though your diary.
To people saying it’s a safety thing, OP is 17, in some countries you’re allowed to drink alcohol and go to university at that age. If OP got into trouble, they should be trusted to call their parents
NTA. if you’re paying for it, it’s yours. She has no right to it.