I (19m) was already outside shoveling my own driveway when I noticed my neighbor(17-18f) across the street shoveling theirs. I don’t know her, but something immediately looked off. She kept stopping, bending over, holding her stomach, and occasionally her chest too.
Then she slipped and fell in the snow. I saw that and I walked over to check on her. I asked if she was okay and she said yeah, but she looked pale, and was still holding her stomach, Im not entirely sure what was wrong. I asked if she needed help and she said she had to get the driveway done before her dad left for work. Her dad was still inside at this point.
I told her I could just finish it really quick if she needed to rest.
As we were talking her dad came outside. He saw me shoveling and immediately started yelling, asking what I was doing on his driveway and what I was doing. I tried to explain that his daughter had fallen and looked unwell, and that I was just helping her out.
He became upset and said that if he wanted his daughter to shovel the snow she would and to back off of his property. I left and he put up a no trespassing sign in his lawn around a day later.
I am autistic and I know I often misread situations so I asked my mom and sister, who both said that they thought I was in the right but I know they would lie to make me feel better, and I understand how it could have been seen as sexist or like demeaning in a way to her and I am a pretty big, dark and ugly guy, and I have been told I can look scary sometimes, so I can understand how that may look from the dads perspective. I have been thinking about it and I believe that I may have acted in a way that makes me the asshole
Sounds to me like you were being a good and kind neighbour. Maybe he was punishing her or something?
Yeah, like maybe she came home drunk and this was her punishment. Would explain getting sick. Or dad is an asshole. Not enough information to know what was going on with the neighbor.
NTA there’s something not right in that house. It sounds like the dad is abusing his daughter. He probably hurt her, hence why she was in pain, and was making hwr shovel snow as a punishment.
what is the deal with people commenting like this even has the slightest chance of being real? no wonder people keep doing this.
the upside of treating the story as real is that i get to read an interesting story. the downside is i *might* be tricked by someone who’s just telling a story. the upside to assuming it’s fake is… what exactly? it’s just more enjoyable to take stories as being real. and i’m here to have a nice time. it makes me miserable and paranoid to scroll through social media assuming everyone is lying to me all the time. you can report this story as being fake, and the rest of us can discuss in the comments as long as it stays up, and we can both get what we want out of this subreddit.
Nta. And please stop referring to yourself as ugly. You don’t need to insult yourself when you feel like you may be in the wrong. Also you did nothing wrong. You offered to do a good deed for someone in need its to bad that they didn’t appreciate you for it. If anything i think it reflects poorly on that girl’s father nit you. And i suspect he may have forced her to shovel the snow knowing she was unwell.
NTA.
Thank you for being kind and compassionate and trying to help.
It sounds like her dad may be abusive at worst and just a jerk at best. Abusers often try to isolate their victims. He also could have been using the manual labor as some sort of punishment. Either way, I don’t think this is about you. I think this is about him isolating his daughter and keeping her from help.
I’m sorry he yelled at you, he didn’t deserve that. If you saw my children struggling like this and helped them I would offer you a hot drink and something to eat and thank you profusely.
You did a good job. Poor girl.
Stay friends.
NTA The father possibly had ordered the daughter to shovel as a punishment and you interfered. Or if not a punishment as such, maybe he was furious for having had his mistreatment of a sick daughter revealed to you.
I’ve read this before. I *know* I have,
NTA. You sound very kind. Her dad sounds abusive.
You read the situation perfectly – you saw someone struggling, went over to see if everything was alright and then offered to help. Huge NTA
Her dad however sounds like a controlling bully
Sounds like she was extremely hungover and her father was punishing her for drinking by getting her to shovel the snow.
Either that or she is in fact very unwell and the fathers an asshole.