My wife (27F) has come to visit me (28F) as she lives in a different country because of work. She has been meeting our friends and her friends while she’s here. Today she’s meeting some friends and then the guy she used to like before we were together. While she was getting ready she picked up shorts and a t-shirt which is cute and I said yes wear it. I also causally commented that thank God you’re not wearing that denim sundress. To give some context I wanted her to wear this dress with me however because of some unforeseen circumstances we rescheduled the plan to next week.
After hearing my comment she wanted to make a statement and is now wearing the same dress. I do not like the fact that she’s meeting that guy alone in that dress which I wanted her to wear with me. I was already pissed that she’s going to a bookstore (we both love books and had plans to go to one together while she’s here) with this guy. I am lowkey feeling super jealous and she can see it on my face. She’s laughing at me and it’s making me even more pissed. AITA for feeling this way?
NTA. Your feelings are valid. Jealousy is understandable given the situation, especially since it involves an old crush and plans you wanted to share with her. Feeling uncomfortable does not make you wrong. The issue is less about the dress and more about communication and respect.
You’re not the asshole for feeling jealous feelings are automatic, but you could become an asshole depending on how you handle it
Not the asshole for feeling jealous. Definitely the asshole for not “letting” her wear something.
You are an asshole if you think dictating what someone else ought to wear is a normal thing to do in the West in 2026. You are also jealous and controlling for wanting her to only go to (srsly?) bookstores with *you*, and again an AH for being “pissed” about it.
You are not an AH for feeling jealous, but that is **your** problem, not hers. Do you honestly not trust her not to fuck her ex/cheat on you? Why are you married to someone you don’t trust?
Your wife may not exactly be commendable for mocking you about your jealousy either, but this is a little too anecdotal for us to judge. Are you imagining her laughing at you in a malicious way? Is she just finding the situation of you telling her what to wear ridiculous? Is this a frequent occurrence (you trying to control her out of your own jealousy)? Is she “making a statement” to point this out?
YTA it’s controlling. Also, you can get over it and relax because if her intention is to cheat, the outfit won’t change nothing.
YTA You can’t help being jealous but you shouldn’t take it out on your wife by being pissed off and telling her what she can and can’t wear. You could make a request but it comes off poorly that you’re trying to dictate her choices.
Next time, be kind to her and trust her. Or if it really bothers you, go along and get to know her friend.
ESH, you most of all.
First off, what do you mean you didn’t “let” her wear a dress? Why do you give your wife permission to wear clothing as if she’s a child and not an adult who can decide how she wants to look? And what’s the big deal about you wanting to wear the dress to an outing with you? Is she only allowed to wear the dress one time? Why can’t she wear her nice dress to multiple things? Why is she ONLY allowed to go to a bookstore (a very neutral and not-romantic place) with you? I get it, she used to like this guy, but she’s married to you now. You need to trust her.
She’s also being an ass by laughing at you about it instead of communicating. Both of you need to grow up.
Yta. You will soon be single if you keep telling her what to wear.
YTA. “Lowkey jealous” is an understatement. She is a grown woman who can wear what she wants.
Yta. Yes, you can have feelings, no you can’t police how she dresses. She is making a point to you about you needing to control your emotions and police your insecurities. You have basically implied she will be unfaithful or wants to be by how she dresses or that because she has dressed one way that she deserves to be taken advantage of. You don’t own her and she isn’t a possession.
I bought myself a dress, it comes to my knees and has long sleeves, it however is in a stretchy material. Hubby made a joking comment about not letting me out of the house in it cause men will look. Guess who had to watch me go shopping in it? All he said was point taken and has never done it again.
Your wife loves you and married you, that’s all you really need there.
YTA grow up! That’s a huge insecurity on your part that you need to work through.
ESH, your marriage isn’t going to survive a long distance if you both don’t change. You have trust issues and she used them to make you jealous… childish
YTA.
You made a comment that was SUPER controlling and sexist, and now you are facing the consequences.
Good on her for laughing at your petty jealousy.
You may want to look into therapy for your issues man.