Yesterday, I (19f), learned my boyfriend had kissed another woman. He told me he intended on telling me but wanted to find the right words to. He had known her for 3-4 years by now and said he’d been loving her for a while now but was repressing that love for her. He told me that he’s willing to do anything for me or sacrifice anything for me but I don’t want to force him to do anything. It wouldn’t solve anything. He said that he can’t imagine a future without me and was sobbing to me ever since I found out. I’m so disgusted with him though i couldn’t even bare to kiss him on the lips. He said he’ll never speak to her again and never lie to me again. It just doesn’t seem fair or right to me that he gets to love romantically two people at once. I really don’t know how to move forward with this. I’m so scared of him betraying my trust again as well as being scared that his love for her will rebound and stronger. I just don’t want to be the idiot waiting in the dust. Any advice is appreciated.
you need to put yourself first, please know that would never mean “being the idiot waiting in the dust” no matter what happens. dms are open if you’d like to talk any time. 🫶
nope. you should nope your way right out of that. cut your losses and let him go love her. he lied to you, he cheated, and worst of all- he stayed with you “for a while” when he was actively loving someone else. he’s not mature enough to be in a realtionship, and you deserve better.
what most likely happened is that he’s always idolized her, settled for you, he saw his chance with her and took it but it didn’t work out, and now he’s trying to salvage you. you are worth more than being his second best- and if that’s not enough, know that he’ll for sure do it again if you keep him around. you’ll be teaching him that you’ll take him back, and the risk of trying out the greener grass on the other side won’t keep him from coming back to you.
Give it up. You’re young and in this little time, you haven’t really got much invested in what is clearly not your destiny.
Time to move on.
I’m all about fighting for a relationship and making it work, but this isn’t healthy at all. I put my foot down on healthy communication and your partner doesn’t seem to want that.