TL;DR below. Non native English so excuse my mistakes.
Hi all,
my boyfriend (M33) grew up always sleeping with completely open windows. I (F34) grew up with the German "Stoßlüften" before bedtime (open your windows fully for ~5 min) and depending on outside temperatures I adjusted if my windows were open at night or not, my optimum sleeping temperature is between 18-20°C at night.
We moved together this year, which has caused some troubles in our nighttime routine now that it’s winter.
I got adjusted to fully wide open windows during summer and fall, got thicker pyjamas, got an electrical heating pad and some nights slept with a headband.
But now the temperature outside is down to -18°C / 0°F and I was freezing at night, I could barely sleep and felt sick in the morning. We agreed to having the windows open a slit of 2cm / 0.8 inch, just to test it. I could again not sleep and checked the room temperature in the morning: 3°C / 37°F!
No wonder I could barely sleep.
Last night the forecast was again for -10°C / 14°F, and I asked my boyfriend if we could keep the windows closed for these super cold temperature nights (which is maybe two weeks in total of the year?). He agreed.
Today in the morning, I woke up with my neck hurting and being super cold. I was wondering about this but thought that I must have slept badly. But when I turned around to the window I see it open a slit again. I look to the thermometer and see that we have 5°C / 41°F in the room.
I felt really betrayed that he did that, even though I asked him not to. I felt like he doesn’t care about my wellbeing.
How can we solve this? Does anyone have similar experiences?
TL;DR: BF insists on open windows even when freezing, room temperature at night down to 3°C / 37°F
Could he deal with closed windows but a fan?
That’s worth considering 🤔 Ithank you!
Tape it closed to send a message!
You asked him if you could close the windows at night when it gets really cold, *he said yes*, and then went against what he said and opened the windows again
Feeling betrayed is totally valid and I would feel the same if I was in your position
You can sleep in different rooms until it’s not so cold anymore. But do you really want to spend your life with someone who doesn’t do what he said and also won’t compromise for anything?
Like you’ve done enough making plenty of adjustments (thicker pajama, heating pad etc) and what is he doing? You’re the one asking for suggestions on reddit, and meanwhile, he dies if the window is anything less than wide open…
Is this really worth the trouble?
I really try my best to understand his position… good question…
Why. Like literally why. He doesn’t extend the same courtesy to you, so why would you bother?
Jesus Christ those are not healthy sleeping temperatures for anyone! It’s going to cause mould as well
Super glue is the answer.