Would like an outside opinion on if I’m being crazy for feeling disrespected… my sister in law (who I am close with!) is likely naming her daughter the same as my daughters middle name. Think “Ivy Rose” and “Rose XYZ”. My twin girls were born after 5 years of infertility treatments and 6 failed transfers (IVF) and the middle name has extreme significance as she was named after my grandmother who passed about a year ago.
Husband brought up our concerns to MIL but she banned us from mentioning anything to SIL and claimed she would “suggest other names”.
There is no familial significance that we are aware of for BIL/SIL in terms of choosing the name other than they like it.
Husband thinks I should let it go and he says we can’t influence their first child’s name, but I feel it’s very disrespectful and inconsiderate as she was the last grandchild born onto the family. I have no problem with it being a middle name, but the first name really upsets me due to its significance.
Am I completely in the wrong for feeling this way? Is there any advice out there for being in this situation? I’m well aware no one “owns” a name, I just feel like this is inconsiderate to my child.
Thanks in advance!
EDIT:
The name isn’t actually Rose so please start harping on that exact name. It’s much less common. Also, I am well aware as stated I don’t own a name. There’s no way I would actually ask them to change the name. I just wish they would be more considerate and not be sketchy when they know what the name is (as accidentally told to us by my MIL)
YTA. It doesn’t matter at all especially since one is a middle name. As cousins I wouldn’t care if it were the same name. Please explain how it makes your daughter or her name any less special because her cousin’s going to share it.
My daughter’s middle name is Rose and I wouldn’t mind if my sister in law named their daughter Rose. I think it’s a beautiful name.
YTA. I’m sorry but your own personal significance is not relevant in this situation.
Yta and this is so weird to me. Who cares how long it took to have your child besides yourself and your husband? I think it would be different if the child had the same first names but Rose is such a common name and you can’t lay claim to it
YTA you don’t own the name and definitely do not get to dictate to anyone else what they can or cannot name their own child! It’s none of your business.
Take it as a compliment
My first name and middle initial are the exact same as my dad’s favorite cousin, and before I got married, we shared a last name. My middle name is after my aunt. I never felt less than or that my name was any less special. You don’t own names. YTA.
YTA – Its not a super unique name. You don’t own the name, neither did your grandmother. It is her middle name. You are overreacting and being dramatic for no reason. Your infertility treatments have nothing to do with it. Your husband is right, you need to let that shit go. Also, the cousins will probably think its super cool they have commonality in names.
YTA
It’s a name. Lots of people share names. You don’t own “rose”, FFS.
*Your child doesn’t give a fuck.*
This is all you. You’re being completely unreasonable, and you should stop. Also, apologize for being a PITA.
YTA it’s your kids middle name! Not her first.
You’re being an asshile. Nobody owns a name.
YTA
YTA – a middle name doesn’t hold the same significance as a first name and you don’t own the name. Especially not one as common as Rose. You’ll have to get mad at every 4th person naming their daughters.
YTA
“I’m well aware no one “owns” a name, I just feel like this is inconsiderate to my child.” You are not “well aware” or you are “aware” but don’t seem to understand what it means that no one owns a name. It’s a middle name for your daughter. Please stop. You are being very ridiculous. And, no, just to be clear, it is not “inconsiderate” to your daughter. What does that even mean???
YTA. You don’t own the name. It is not that unique. If it was so special, why didn’t you use it as a first name? Get over it.
YTA
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Nobody owns any names. Nobody can tell any other parent what they may or may not name their child. Nobody needs to check with Precious You if a name is allowed to be used or not. There is no Name Police organization to report the in-laws and relatives who stubbornly cling to a name you refuse to give them permission to use for their child.
Grow up.