I’m currently a freshman in college (18F), but this story occurs from the second semester of my sophomore year of high school all the way until graduation.
Basically, this girl that I’d been introduced to by a mutual friend and had started getting to know in a class we had together went completely batshit crazy after I apparently insulted her. The reason she was upset was by a conversation she started, but it’s too long to explain. Anyways, that night after she’d gotten upset, she texted me telling me why I was terrible person and I had no friends and everyone hated me. Mind you, I’d known this girl for maybe 2 weeks. I apologized for upsetting her, and I was being genuine because I would never want to actually hurt someone’s feelings. But she went completely insane. I went to bed, and woke up to probably another 30 texts from her saying I was a bitch, nobody liked me, she wanted me to die, etc.
This is where it gets crazy. At school the next day, I get a text from her around 10 am with nothing but my literal home address, and no other context or anything. Obviously I was freaked out. I ended up blocking her, which I regret now because it deleted all the messages between us that could’ve been used as evidence. Now this story is very long and complicated but I’ll sum it up as simply as possible.
For the remainder of our sophomore year, she’d track me down in the halls, try to shove me down the stairs, chase after me calling me a stupid bitch with no friends, telling me she was going to break into my house, murder my family, and then leave me alive while she burnt the house down. Actually insane. It went on for months. Junior year, the school admin had made sure we no longer had any classes together and allowed me to get a no contact order against her (basically an in school restraining order which did not stop her at all). Fun fact, 12 other people at our school also had a no contact order against her, so she’s obviously crazy. Junior year was relatively chill, but senior year she ramped back up. She told me again how she’d kill my family, how I had no friends, how I should off myself or she’d do it for me.
So I told the police officers at our school, who had dealt with her plenty of times before. They escorted her out, and I’m not sure where she went after that, but I found out from a friend a week later that she’d been admitted to a psychiatric facility. Apparently after getting escorted out of school, she’d tried to off herself, and then gotten hospitalized. A part of me feels terrible that what I did led to her doing that, but she tormented me and made me feel unsafe for 2.5 years. I threw up every day before school sophomore year because I was terrified of what she was going to do to me that day.
There’s so much more context to this story and I will happily give more details, but AITA for possibly causing her to need to be admitted to a psychiatric facility?
NTA. She obviously needs psychiatric help, which is hopefully what she will now receive. You don’t have to feel bad at all.
Yes, please don’t think of this as doing something bad to her. This girl desperately needs help and you are the only one that enabled her to get it. And good work keeping yourself safe.
Info: what did you do to insult her
Again, long story, but stick with me. We had two classes together, and she was also my partner for Behind the Wheel, which was the stage after we took Drivers Ed where we actually got to drive with an instructor. So we were just getting to know each other, but she seemed nice enough and we had a mutual friend. In one of our classes, she was in a group with me and two other girls that I was friends with, one of whom was our mutual friend. We were reading a book and translating it and discussing it since it was a Spanish class. We’d gotten done with our reading for the day and my group was just talking. She and I had also just gotten back from our driving lesson right before this class. So, as what I presumed was going to be a playful conversation, the girl asked my friends who they thought was the better driver between the two of us. Of course, jokingly, I said “Oh, it’s definitely me”. Joking…right? Apparently this was very offensive to her, and when she’d texted me that night, I tried to explain that I had said that as a joke and I had presumed she’d taken it that way, but I was sorry it hadn’t come across that way and I had hurt her feelings.
>she’d been admitted to a psychiatric facility
You did her a favor. She’s getting the help she needs.
I was going to ask what you said, then I read the rest. Nothing excuses her behavior, and she’s luckily you only went to school security. NTA an especially after reading your comment on what you said (not that I needed to know with the other info)
NTA. You did what was necessary and beneficial for your safety. She had no right to escalate like that, especially after you apologized. She definitely needed medical/psychiatric intervention and you leading to her being escorted out of the school not only helped the safety of other students, but also potentially set her on the road to receiving the help she needed.
NTA – she needs help and there would’ve been another trigger if not you. You didn’t actually do anything to her except make a cheeky joke. She spent 2.5 years psychologically and emotionally torturing you. Gurl you good, don’t stress a damn thing
NTA. You got her into psychiatric care which is where she needed to be. You did her a favour.
This isn’t your fault at all. She sounds like she has antisocial personality disorder, which didn’t happen due to anything you did. My guess is that she was like this WAY before you ever met her, and she’s left a long trail of bullied people everywhere she’s been. It’s definitely for the best that she’s in a psychiatric facility, because she sounds like she has a serious mental illness.
You did NOT do this to her. You are not responsible for anything that she’s done, or for anything that has happened to her as a result of her own antisocial behavior. If you hadn’t been the one who told the police, someone else would have done it. I doubt that you were the first person to report her cruelty to your school and to the police, and very likely you weren’t the last.
Just to clarify, “antisocial personality” doesn’t mean that the person avoids social interaction, that’s avoidant personality disorder. Antisocial in this context means that the person has no respect for the rights of others and enjoys harming people, as in, failing to abide by the moral social contract all people are expected to follow. Most people just innately know not to harm others and find this kind of behavior distasteful, but people with ASD seem to take their greatest pleasure in other people’s pain. As you can imagine, they often end up in prison.
You are NOT responsible for her expulsion from school, or for her probably involuntary admittance to the psychiatric hospital. I don’t doubt that her family had been trying to seek help for her for years.
Please stop beating yourself up with all this guilt. You did NOT do this to her.
Honestly. You might have done her a favor. Her behavior is far from typical (or acceptable) and it might do her some good to have some contact with mental health experts. With luck they will set her up with outpatient care after she’s discharged, and that outpatient care might help her curb her antisocial tendencies so that she will be happier and more capable of integrating with her peers.
As for the rest, your safety matters. If the school police didn’t think your concern was serious enough for them to act on, they wouldn’t have done anything. You’re NTA.
I’m going to ask that you DON’T give more details, whether someone asks or not. I’m so sorry that was your high school experience and that you carry such guilt with you still but it seems from even what you’ve told us yet that psychological intervention was LONG overdue. And putting more identifying information here is possibly going to lead to her OR YOU being doxxed. You’re NTA. But it might be a story best left offline.
She didn’t go there because of your actions. She went there because of her own actions. She obviously needed professional help, and that’s not your burden to bear.