Hi, I wanted a judgement on whether I’m in the wrong here. My friends and I had been planning to go watch a movie and they bought tickets for tomorrow. I’ve already paid the friend who bought it and won’t be asking for it ofcourse so that’s not the issue.
I wanted to watch it primarily because my favorite actor is starring in it and wasn’t too particular about the story. I’ve come across some reactions to it because its been wildly successful and its just that the plot seems to be trashing my boyfriend’s native country HARD. I haven’t spoken to him about it, knowing him he probably wouldn’t care, he doesn’t care much for these movies in general, but still I just felt there was a chance he might feel a certain way about it so I told them today that I can’t go because of the plot. My friends got a bit angry with me, they said he’s mature enough not to care that its a movie and to not be a pick-me who picks my boyfriend over my friends. I just said I’m sorry, that they can’t understand my position (which riled them up even more) and said I’ll see them later. They were all just acting as if I had betrayed them and I just don’t think they get my position. I believe I was in the right here, but I just wanted to ask AITA?
NAH – Nobody’s an asshole here, but I think that since you already bought the ticket, you should probably just go with your friends. And no, that’s not being a “pick-me”, that’s just being pretty sensitive about something that isn’t that big of a deal.
OP should go and maybe form her own opinion about the movie instead of listening to internet commentary.
I think YTA here actually. You already bought the tickets, you knew your boyfriend wouldn’t care, and you didn’t care for the plot yourself, so I don’t see a good reason why you couldn’t have gone, even if some of the movie was offensive. I can understand why your friends may feel you let them down, though ‘betray’ does seem like a bit of an overreaction.
What movie? This seems pretty extra, especially as you said your bf wouldn’t care, also you could ask him. I guess NTA because you can do what you want but I’d be slightly annoyed
Nah. I understand your thought process but this seems a lot over an alleged idea in a movie. If your bf wouldn’t actually care, then why wouldn’t you go? If anything, you should have spoken to him
INFO: why do you feel that you decidedly can’t go for the reason that you’re not even sure is a legitimate concern? It seems like talking to your boyfriend about it to figure out if he’ll be upset first makes more sense than cancelling over a chance he’ll be upset.
ESH – you are dipping out on friends because you think someone (whom you already stated probably doesn’t care) would get butt hurt by a movie plot. Your friends got butt hurt because you dont want to go see a movie.
Ya’ll sound immature for various reasons. This is honestly the lowest issue on the totem pole of things to take issue with.
Why don’t you ask your boyfriend? He would know better than the rest of us if it would be upsetting.
People are free to do what they want. If you’re asking my honest opinion, I’d probably stop inviting you out if you’d rather not hang out over an imaginary issue that isn’t even an issue.
You ditched your friends over a hypothetical that you admit probably isn’t the case.
Also don’t not watch a movie because other people/strangers online find it offensive, form your own opinions.
A very slight YTA, at the end of the day you do what you want. But I get the frustration and maybe even disbelief that *that’s* your reason for not going. It sounds nonsensical. And why is your BF even a factor in this decision?
Is this the first time you’ve canceled plans with your friends over something related to your boyfriend?
They could be more understanding IF this wasn’t a common occurrence, so I can’t judge without more info.
NAH. But all of you seem a little…extra. I don’t know what movie you might be referring to, so the spectrum of the “bashing” is too vast for me to guess, but in general movies aren’t supposed to only evoke good emotions. You can absolutely disagree with a movie and still watch it, some people make whole careers out of it. On the other hand, your friends also vastly overreacting to you backing out of a pretty minimal commitment (if you don’t ask for the money back). If you’re a flaky friend and they’re sick of you bailing on plans, then I’ll change my vote accordingly.
PS: not to age myself, but it feels like young ppl have taken the “pick me” trope and use it any time a woman does anything they don’t like.
YTA
This isn’t what a “pick-me girl” is at all.
If I was in your shoes, I would have gone and seen what it’s about. You are allowed to expose yourself to things that might offend you and then form your own opinions, make critiques and analysis of your own rather than allowing a few randos on the internet to form your opinion for you (Ironic on this forum, I know).
Is this a be-all end-all of a relationship? Not unless you all are incredibly immature but I would definitely be annoyed by you. Why agree to go to a movie and then decide to do research after that and allow that to dictate your attendance? If you were fine agreeing to go to the movie without checking it out, then why put yourself through this?
Yta. Did you ask your boyfriend his opinion? Feels like you making uninformed decisions. And yes you are being a pick me. You can form your own opinion outside of your boyfriend. Plus it’s a movie, don’t take it so seriously. It’s literally just entertainment.